Mentoring Minutes

Valentine, Marriage and “Family Privilege”

St. Valentine is celebrated for Romance, love and sex.  What if that’s only part of the story?  His real life’s work that should be celebrated is for God’s institution of Marriage…and we, as His Church must take up the mantle in our day and culture!

Let me start with 5 reasons that Valentine’s Day and Marriage are good for…1) Your Spouse; 2) Yourself; 3) Your Family; 4) Christ’s Church; 5) Our culture!

If we’re not on the right foundation, and Marriage in God’s design is that foundation, then very seldom, if ever, will we have the change of heart that can make the needed difference in relationships and especially, Marriage, Family and The Church.

Take a look at the “state of our unions” and the influence, or lack thereof, that the Church has had on our culture over the past 60+ years…this must change and I believe God is calling us to stand up, call for, and live out this change.

– Since 1960, America has witnessed a 12-fold (that’s 1200%) increase in cohabitation and a 50 percent plunge in the marriage rate.

– About 45 percent of cohabiting couples undergo what is called a “premarital divorce,” which can be every bit as painful as the real thing.  Mike McManus of Marriage Savers calls these “mini divorces.”

– The half who make it to the altar are about 50 percent more likely to divorce than those who lived apart prior to marrying.

– In the end, as few as 15 of every 100 couples who cohabit go on to create a lasting marriage.

This is just the tip of the iceberg.  None of this speaks specifically to the overwhelming inundation of pornography and porneia (sexual immorality which Biblically speaking is any sex outside of one man/one woman marriage) that is rampant and accepted in our culture and even in many churches, by admission or omission.  It is found in every form of media and social media with little resistance, it is codified in our laws to endorse and promote sexual immorality and demean and diminish marriage and family, and it is literally disguised (porn that is) as education and taught to school children of every age!

So where do we find ourselves this Valentine’s Day?  Let’s look at the game plan of the socialists and liberals who know they must destroy or diminish marriage and family to bring about government control.  The playbook could be entitled,  “Family Privilege” which sounds great until you dig just beneath the surface…

The premise is rooted, as are many things today, in the faulty reasoning of tolerance and discrimination leveled in this case against the “privileging” of certain family types and structures as better than any others…even though the overwhelming social science data clearly tells a different story…there is a major positive difference in male/female married with biological or adopted children families!

Their convoluted and ideological (not scientific at all) argument “seems to be that, by giving special respect to one kind of relationship, we simultaneously disrespect all others.”  The stated goal is to “foster greater social inclusion and advancement for all people” and that, in and of itself, can be noble.  However, marriage, and all its wonderful and proven benefits, will cease to exist in any recognizable form if “family privilege” concepts and constructs prevail…and that is the deeper goal of those who are pushing this ideological agenda.  Check out the playbook…

Vladimir Lenin, the architect of the Soviet Union, stated (this sounds hauntingly familiar), “Corrupt the young, get them away from religion. Get them interested in sex. Make them superficial, destroy their ruggedness. Get control of all means of publicity and thereby: Get the peoples’ mind off their government by focusing their attention on athletics, sexy books and plays, and other trivialities. Divide the people into hostile groups by constantly harping on controversial matters of no importance. Destroy the people’s faith in their natural leaders by holding up the latter to ridicule, contempt and obloquy. Always preach true democracy but seize power as fast and as ruthlessly as possible. Encourage government extravagance, destroy its credit, produce fear with rising prices, inflation and general discontent. Foment unnecessary strikes in vital industries, encourage civil disorders and foster a soft and lenient attitude on the part of government toward such disorders. By specious argument cause the breakdown of the old moral virtues: honesty, sobriety, continence, faith in the pledged word, ruggedness. Cause the registration of all firearms on some pretext, with the view of confiscating them and leaving the population defenseless.”

With regard to marriage and family he said, “Destroy the family, you destroy the country.”  He did and tyrannically reordered it as the Communist Soviet Union.

Ultimately we are seeing this in our country throughout our media, education and government with those who agree that all relationship lifestyle choices are equal are better than those who uphold one man/one woman marriage and traditional family.  They claim the moral high ground and then shout down, censor, silence or cancel anyone who disagrees.  It’s the only way to attain what they are after as research and realities clearly show a different picture. 

If this sounds vaguely familiar it’s because it is…look no further than the BLM and related movements that hide behind racial and other injustices (which we do need to rightfully consider) while promoting the very ideals shared in this article, i.e., the destruction of the nuclear family! 

As believers in Christ, we must boldly, truthfully and graciously come against this agenda for destroying nuclear family according to God’s Covenant Order.  We must stand firm in the Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) in order to be able to continue to shine Christ’s Light and share His Love!

For more check out this article… https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2021/02/73867/

Here’s some food for thought…”Ross Douthat describes our culture’s loss of religion, familial breakdown, and plummeting birthrates as a set of feedback loops: the rich society creates incentives to set aside faith’s admonitions, which orients its culture more toward immediate material pleasures, which makes its inhabitants less likely to have children, which weakens the communal transmission belt for religious traditions, which pushes the society further along the materialist-individualist path. . . . and at a certain point you end up, well, here, with unparalleled prosperity joined to seemingly irresistible demographic decline.

“How can we escape this vicious cycle? Perhaps, writes Douthat, this would require ‘our society to become dramatically unlike itself, ordered to sacrifice rather than consumption, and to eternity rather than what remains of the American Dream. You would need not change on the margins, but transformation—probably religious transformation—at the heart.’”

Which brings us to Valentine’s Day and St. Valentine

The legend of St Valentine’s is much more about commitment to marriage than to Romance. Both are important but Valentine was not martyred for peddling romance and sex.  He was martyred for standing up for God’s design for Marriage against a government (Roman Emperor who outlawed marriage thinking he would have men who would be more committed to Rome.  In time it became evident that men were much more willing to die for their spouse and the country in which they lived than to do so simply for king and country).  He ultimately gave his life for the sake of Marriage!  Sadly enough we’ve made it all about romance and sex.

Marriage is God’s design for love, oneness, romance and sex all rolled into one, ultimately to glorify Him!  And it’s AWESOME!  It’s not easy and it takes work contrary to the fairy tale and pornified cultural message that inundates us. God’s design and desire in Marriage is clear…Male and Female, Husband and Wife in a life-long covenant commitment that is to be honored by all!

When we honor marriage it means that we honor all relationships (ours and others), before, during and after marriage according to His Covenant Order and Design.  St. Valentine and his day are really about marriage much more than romance…but don’t miss the romance!

Focus on Romance only and both will fail…focus on Marriage/Commitment while working on Romance, yes, I said working on Romance, and both flourish!  Marriage is one of God’s most precious and incredible gifts given to humankind in order for family, community, His Church, and nations to flourish!

St. Valentine, Romance and Marriage…Elevate and give Marriage, your marriage and all relationships, the honor God’s Word ascribes…Valentine was willing to give his life for it…maybe he was on to something!?!

Who will stand with me as modern-day Valentines against the lies and deceptions of media, education and government and stand for Marriage, Family and Romance in line with God’s Truth so we can leave a better legacy than what was left to us?

 Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – God’s design for Marriage calls us as believers to honor marriage not just when we say, “I Do” but long before with purity and integrity in every relationship that carries over into marriage and blesses our union and our family!

Love and Lordship…Action Item(s)

1.  Take time to reflect on God’s design for Marriage, relationships and sexuality.  What does that say to you? 

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.  Genesis 1:27

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:24-25

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.  Hebrews 13:4

2.  Ask The Holy Spirit to show you how this impacts your marriage and spouse.

3.  Ask The Father to reveal His will for your relationships, your present or future marriage and spouse.

4. Read this article as it helps pull all this together for marriage, relationship, romance and sex… “The Valentine’s Day Gift That Keeps On Giving”

The Lordship of Christ – Walking as His Disciple

Two simple things The Spirit brought to my mind from His Word and from Oswald Chambers regarding Christ being Lord of every part of my life:

1) I must die completely to myself (Galatians 2:20). Oswald Chambers called this going to my own “white funeral” (read the powerful, short devotional here (https://utmost.org/do-you-walk-in-white/) and in another place he calls it going to the funeral of my own independence…fully surrendering and dependent on God in Christ, which leads to the second simple Truth…

2) Christ must live fully in me. In others words He makes His home completely and fully in me, in my heart, mind, life and relationships, rooted and grounded in His Love (Ephesians 3:17-19; refer back to Galatians 2:20).

What does it look like for Christ to be Lord?  John the Baptist’s final testimony to Christ gives us this key in John 3:30, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” As I was studying and praying about this several years ago, The Holy Spirit dropped this Truth in my mind, which aligns with all of Scripture and my choosing to submit to Christ as Lord, “In order for Me to increase in you, you must willingly choose to decrease. I will force neither.”

Before we transition to what it means to be Christ’s disciple and begin to move into His Love that compels us to make Him Lord and point others to Him, let’s recap Authority. Check out these Scriptures that clearly show Christ as The Author and therefore we can confidently and lovingly submit to Him as The Authority…as our Lord!

In Matthew 28:18, Jesus said, “All authority has been given to me.” By whom? The answer is: God the Father gave it to him. Keep reading…

Matthew 11:27 – “All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”

John 3:35 – “The Father loves the Son and has given all things into his hand.”

John 13:3, 5 – “Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God…began to wash the apostles’ feet.”

Ephesians 1:20-22 – “God raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and made Him head over all things to the church,”

John 17:2 – “Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son that the Son may glorify you, for you granted him authority over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him.”

Philippians 2:9-11 – “Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

He is a gracious and good God and we can fully trust Christ as Lord. I pray that you know Him not only as Savior but also as Lord. He will never force His Love or Lordship on you. He patiently waits for you to surrender to Him and it will absolutely change your life.

Discipleship: Our Response to His Lordship

We’ve focused over the past few weeks as we began 2021 on what it means and what it costs for us to seek and know Christ as Lord (Author and Authority). So what does it mean to live our lives as His disciple?

So much of our teaching and “discipleship” in today’s churches revolves much more around churchianity (attendance, giving, serving) with little responsibility and accountability for us to be sold-out disciples of Christ. Attendance, fellowship, giving and serving should be an overflow of who He is in our life and who we are in Him!

Two poignant, difficult passages on discipleship in Scripture for our culture and seemingly throughout time, human nature…go figure, taught by Jesus Himself are Matthew 7:21-24 and Luke 14:25-35.  Remember our difficulties never compromise these Truths.

We have to move beyond, and help others move beyond, just being churchgoers or members to being fully devoted disciples of Jesus Christ!

Oswald Chambers gives great insight (https://utmost.org/classic/it-is-the-lord-classic/) to remind us it is Christ in us doing as He desires through us as we surrender to Him rather than what we claim to do for Him.

The reason we have so watered down and compromised on discipleship is because our nature is to make things as easy as we can for ourselves. Invite folks to church, hear a short message, give some money and occasionally sign up to serve…all good things but they are not disciples making disciples.

God’s Word and Jesus Himself proclaimed discipleship as a much deeper relationship and commitment requiring obedience and accountability…a dying to self as He lives through us. And that’s the rub in my flesh. I’d much rather just show up for a message, give a bit and serve a little and call myself His disciple but that does not line up with His Word.

Discipleship is our response to His Lordship. He has freely saved us to be in a relationship with Him…Father, Son and Holy Spirit…that we could enter into in no other way. And yet we’ve made it so easy to claim His salvation (Christ as Savior…and it is easy because He has done it all!) and enter into that relationship with little or no thought to the reality that the only way we can be in this relationship is with Him as Lord! Think about it…are you deceived in thinking you’re in a relationship with Christ and He’s not Lord?

If so, then who is lord, and what is Christ in your relationship? If He is King of kings and Lord of Lords…and He is; if He is the Creator and Author of our lives and all that exists…and He is…then who is He in your life and in that relationship.

We are all on different levels of maturity in Christ but none of that changes the fact that to be in a relationship with Him means our hearts must pursue and walk with Him as Lord. That’s what it means to be His disciple and in obedience, “Go and make disciples.” (Matthew 28:18-20)

In a world of false hopes wrapped up in hollow promises, temporary stuff and fleeting fads, we have the One Hope that never fails. Hope is not in worldly governments, education, media, science, economies, possessions, feelings or experiences. These will all come and go and leave us empty.

Hope is a Person…Jesus Christ. He promises, “I am with you always, even to the end of time” Matthew 28:20; “I will never leave you or forsake you” Hebrews 13:5; “I am the same yesterday, today and forever” Hebrews 13:8.

Next week we’ll look at what it means to be His disciple in Jesus’ own words.

Make it a great day in and for The Lord!

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – He is Hope that we can count on no matter what we’re facing. That’s why He not only came to save you but to be your Lord. Choose Him as Lord in every part of your life by wholeheartedly seeking and following Him. His Hope is eternal and you can always count on Him. Don’t lose Hope because Hope (Jesus) never loses and never fails!

Love and Lordship…Action Item(s)

  1. Read Romans 6:1-23 over the next few days or week.
  2. Ask The Holy Spirit to reveal to you what it means for Christ to be Lord of your life and how to live as His disciple.
  3. Ask Him to show you areas in your life where He’s not Lord.
  4. As He reveals things to you and you honestly recognize them, begin to specifically ask how to change your thinking, choices, actions and relationships to reflect His Lordship and your walk as His disciple.

Foundation and Authority… The Lordship of Christ

Our world is in chaos but honestly it has been since the angel of God closed the gates to Eden. Actually, since Adam and Eve took the bite of the forbidden fruit.  The issue then, as it is now, is who is your Lord/lord?

If Christ is Lord…your choice in loving obedience (Jn 14:15), then there is nothing in the world to fear. If He is not truly Lord of your life then the only other option is satan as lord (he actually always disguises this as “self” as lord – Gen 3:4-5). When satan is lord you have everything to fear.

King Hezekiah in the Old Testament when Sennacharib, King of Assyria came against Israel, he reminded God’s people to be strong and courageous because despite all the hordes of their army it was just an army of flesh but The Lord our God fights our battles (2 Chr 32:7-8).

So, all those who are God’s people…those who truly know and walk with Christ as Lord, fear not! No matter what we face God is on our side! If He is Your Lord you can always trust in Him (Prov 3:5-6; Ps 37:4-5)!

“I, I Myself, am He who comforts you. Who are you that you are afraid of [a]mortal man, and of a son of man who is made like grass, that you have forgotten the Lord your Maker, who stretched out the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth, that you fear continually all day long because of the fury of the oppressor, as he makes ready to destroy? And where is the rage of the oppressor? Is 51:12-16 Simplified…no matter what, don’t fear man!

Whatever is your Foundation and whoever is your Lord/lord determines what you will fear…this world or Him? Your choice.

What does it mean then for Christ to be The Author of our life and salvation? What does it mean for Him to be Lord of every part of our life?

It simply means that as Author, His Word is Truth and we apply it to every thought (2 Cor 10:4-5), motive (Ps 51:10; 139:1-4, 23-24), responses and conversations (1 Peter 3:15), and in every relationship and action (Lk 14:25-35).

His Word makes it clear what it means for Him to be Lord and Authority in our lives. How are you responding?

When Christ is our Lord, Authority, Foundation, then we can know for certain that our hope, peace, joy, contentment, righteousness, holiness…our fulfillment is found in Him. Apart from Him we will continue to search for meaning, purpose, success and fulfillment in others or things of this world and they will continue to fall short and we will continue to be frustrated. Why? Because we have put our faith in things that cannot satisfy and have failed to see Him as the All-Sufficient Savior and Lord!

Christ as Lord is my righteousness and by His grace I’m made worthy. I do not need to prove my worth to anyone because it is already secure in Him.  I can say with Paul that no matter what I face…good, bad or ugly…nothing can deter or take away from the testimony of His Lordship and presence in my life (2 Cor 6:3-10).

To know Him as Lord means we can truly say that the life we live is Christ in us (Gal 2:20)!

What is your Joy? Peace? Hope? Endurance (yes, endurance)? Assurance? Strength? Fulfillment? Humility? Righteousness? Truth? Love?

If you are seeking any of these apart from Christ as Savior and Lord it will be fleeting at best and frustrating and deceptive at worst! We only find any or all of these in reality when we look to Christ. All that we are and all that we have is in Christ and our help comes from Him (Ps 121). We are alive in Christ so we live like it as His instrument of righteousness. Oh, how we need His righteousness in us so others see Him (Rom 6:11-13).

As we focus on Christ’s Lordship…His Authority in our lives and the Foundation of His Truth as our Guide…let’s consider His Faithfulness that flows from His Truth and why we can count on Him as Lord.

Even when we are unfaithful, He cannot be untrue to Himself and He remains faithful to Himself and to us (2 Tim 2:13)! That Truth is both very encouraging and very daunting…let me explain.

Here’s the reality…no matter what we are facing we can trust in God through Christ and The Holy Spirit to be faithful to His Word of Truth and to our circumstances.  His faithful response is always right and good, not based on our whims, feelings or desires, but on His Absolute Truth and Love.

That is reassuring and I pray that you find it so in every area of your life and relationships. Let this Scripture remind you of His great faithfulness and choose to walk by grace through faith with Him as Lord!

I thank my God always concerning you for the grace of God which was given you in Christ Jesus, that in everything you were enriched in Him, in all speech and all knowledge, just as the testimony concerning Christ was confirmed in you, so that you are not lacking in any gift, as you eagerly await the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will also confirm you to the end, blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.      I Cor 1:4-9

So what does it mean for God to be Faithful in all things and for us to trust in Him? Two things in particular that will help us as we walk in faith:

1) God will always respond according to His Word of Truth because He knows it is good, right and best…even when we don’t like it!  This means that when we sow in the flesh (prideful, sinful self) He must be faithful to allow the destruction that comes with it. This is hard for folks in modern day Christianity to hear (likely Christians throughout history) but it is nevertheless true because it is His very Word and He must be faithful to it. He does it because He loves us and knows that spouting Truth and righteousness to someone who’s willfully walking (sowing) in the flesh will likely create more rebellion. But when we are confronted by the fruit of our own choices (sowing) according to His very Word and faithfulness, there exists a great opportunity to see our own sin and turn to Him.

2) This is the easy one that we all love to read, hear and accept His Faithfulness…He will bring the fruit of eternal life to those who sow in The Spirit!  He is being Faithful and loving in both and we are blessed if we respond to His Faithfulness!

He is Loving and Faithful…always in all circumstances and in every response and the fruit that is brought in our lives by our own choices to either walk with Him or apart from Him (Gal 6:7-8)!

There are many Scriptures that both proclaim Christ as Lord…King of kings and Lord of lords…and that we must see Him not simply as Lord of all the earth and universe but we must make it personal…Lord of my life. The Holy Spirit heavily impressed on my heart these two simple but profound verses that speak to what it means for Christ to be Lord of every part of my life…

“Trust in the Lord with ALL YOUR HEART and do not lean on your own understanding. In ALL YOUR WAYS acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Prov 3:5-6 (Don’t miss the Caps…mine and added for emphasis)

“We are destroying arguments and ALL arrogance raised against the knowledge of God, and we are taking EVERY THOUGHT captive to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Cor 10:4-5 (Don’t miss the Caps…mine and added for emphasis)

Notice that it doesn’t say trust in The Lord with the parts of your heart that are heavy or the thoughts that you’re uncertain about. Nor does it say that we destroy some of the “arrogance” or prideful thoughts. We are to trust Him with all our heart, acknowledge Him in every thought we have and in every way that we consider, not just when we doubt or struggle or are unsure.

Make it a great day and New Year with family and loved ones in Christ!

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – Today make Him Lord of every single part of your life, thoughts, relationships, activities and dreams, even your motives…when you struggle and when you succeed; when you hurt and when you rejoice; when you question and when you’re sure; when you are angry and when your are grateful. He can handle it all and will direct your paths and align your thoughts and life with His Truth.

Love and Lordship…Action Item(s)

  1. Choose to spend time with God in His Word and prayer every day.
  2. Ask The Holy Spirit to show you areas of your life you’ve not surrendered to Him.
  3. Ask Him to teach you through The Word and your circumstances how you can surrender all of your life to Christ.
  4. Make two lists…one for what He’s showing you and one for what He’s leading you to do to surrender all.
  5. Ask the Lord to give you strength and then choose in faithful obedience to follow through.