Best Decisions I’ve Made as a Father – Part 2
As promised I continue this week with what I consider to be the best decisions I’ve made as a husband and a father in line with God’s Word and Covenant order. Obviously these are not all the decisions I’ve made, as all weren’t good and I thank God for His grace and forgiveness, as well as the forgiveness of my wife and children. Last week I shared four of those decisions and this week I share four more.
This fifth “best” decision I made as a husband and dad may be one of the most practical as it has to do with how I prioritized those things that God has elevated in His Word…the lives and souls of others, in particular, my wife and children over self. In so doing God has allowed me to pour into my children and family as well as others seeking to know Him.
5) Choosing to schedule all of my life. (Psalm 90:12) Stay with me here…
I don’t just put “work” or social events on my calendar; I put time with my wife and children on my calendar and mark them as priorities. I rarely miss them, as there has been very few “emergencies” that take priority over them.
Align the priorities and schedules of your life in order to gain wisdom and see the favor (beauty) of The Lord on your life and home…so others can see His wisdom, favor and glory through you and your family. (Psalm 90:16-17)
Make the most of each day by recognizing and pouring into that which is most important…the lives of those God has entrusted to you.
6) Being their mentor, literally their coach and discipler. (Matthew 28:18-20)
Every dad has the opportunity to do this in one or more areas of their children’s lives. It doesn’t matter to them if you’ve coached before or are even very good at it. Most of our children will never make a living from sports or entertainment, etc. But they will make a life from the things they learn from us. Coaching them is an invaluable opportunity to pass on great life lessons and instill the character of Christ.
Regardless of whether you choose to actually coach them in some capacity or not, be sure that you are discipling them at every opportunity that you have, pointing them to Christ by your life and your words.
Dads, know that in marriage and family your priority disciples are your spouse and your children. Discipling all the people groups of the world begins with you discipling your family at home. Model for them and disciple them in the Truth and Love of God.
7) Choosing to be a man of integrity, modeling what I asked and expected of them. (Psalm 119:9-11; Proverbs 10:9; 20:7; Titus 2:7)
Every one of us will leave a legacy. We don’t get a choice in that. We do get a choice as to what that legacy will be. I’ve made my share of mistakes but I learned early on that my life needed to match up with what I say. And what I say and do needs to be in line with God’s Word. How you handle and grow from mistakes says as much about who you are to your children as when you get things right.
Our desire should be to love God with our whole heart and pray, model and train our children to do the same.
As I wrap up these “best decisions” I pray The Holy Spirit uses them to encourage and challenge you as you disciple and parent your children in The Lord. Here’s the last one I’ll share, maybe the toughest one and perhaps, along with the first one from last week’s post (https://loveandlordship.com/blog/the-best-decisions-ive-made-as-a-father/), the most impactful one…
8) Saying, “I’m sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me.” (James 5:16)
OK, I’ve already established that I’ve made plenty of mistakes. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is to choose to be humble, confess my sins and mistakes, and plainly ask for forgiveness. This has been a blessing in my life and has positively impacted my wife and my children. It’s made me a better man, husband and father and allowed me to have a great relationship with each of my children and that is a wealth far greater than earthly riches!
As I wrap up this post on “best decisions” I’ll share a few quotes about family…
“I have disposed of all my property to my family. There is one thing more I wish I could give to them, and that is the Christian religion. If they had that and I had not given them one cent, they would be rich. If they have not that, and I had given them the world, they would be poor.” — Patrick Henry
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” — Mother Teresa
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. — Psalm 127:3-4
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. — Proverbs 18:22
Husband, love your wife; wife respect your husband…I’m talking about the relationship that God designed to point to Christ and His Bride, The Church! — Ephesians 5:32-33 (my paraphrase)
In God’s design and mandate, discipleship is to begin in the home and the church benefits and is stronger when this happens. When it’s not happening, there’s not enough ‘church’ to overcome what is lacking in the home.
Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – How are the decisions you’re making affecting your children? What will the lasting impact be in their lives and future families, i.e., your legacy? What is the eternal impact your decisions are having on them? Each decision you make and action you take has an impact and brings fruit either for the flesh and the world or for His Kingdom and Eternity!
Love and Lordship…Action Item(s) –
- Read the Scriptures in this article. Pray and ask The Holy Spirit to show you how to make the best decisions for your children and family for Him.
- Spend time in the Word and prayer with your wife, each of your children and together as a family.
- Encourage and hold your children accountable when they are young for time in The Word and in prayer and then encourage them as they get older to do this of their own free will.
- Pray and ask The Lord to show you where you need to ask for forgiveness and then do so.