Biblical Tips for Navigating Marriage
We’ve laid out what God’s Word says regarding building our relationships as His disciples under His Lordship. We’ve applied them specifically to marriage with the commands and keys that enable us to build marriages that are blessed and bless our families and His Church.
There are volumes, and even libraries of books, that address most of the “how to’s” in marriage. The purpose of this post in particular is to help us make sure that our hearts and minds are aligned with Christ’s. While there are practical steps in these posts and certainly many in others, if our hearts are not set on Him we will eventually just exchange one selfish desire for another and the enemy will wreak havoc in our life, marriage, and all relationships.
I know you desire to honor God or you wouldn’t be reading or tuning in.
With this understanding let’s take a look at a foundational Scriptural principle that will reveal and/or help us deal with some of the underlying and prevalent issues and problems that arise in marriage. Using the foundations, commands, and keys previously discussed we can apply His Word and begin to see how He changes our hearts and guides us through them.
Tip #1 – What Does Authority in Marriage Look Like?
Having already discussed this in previous posts, I want to review with you and give you a couple of acronyms to help you remember what authority in Christ’s Kingdom, and therefore in our lives and marriage as His followers, is to look like. This will help you remember and understand what it means to, according to God’s Word and Christ’s teaching and example, to wear the P.A.N.T.S in your marriage.
Everybody knows what it means when we ask “Who wears the pants in that marriage?” or state, “We all know who wears the pants in that marriage!” Either the husband is domineering and demanding, or the wife is manipulative and coercive…to whatever degree these have become evident in the answer in that particular marriage. Neither is in line with God’s Word and Christ’s model of true authority and loving influence.
So let’s look at the two pair of P.A.N.T.S you need to succeed in marriage…and they’re really the same pair…
Remember you’re not wearing the first pair in any relationship or setting, according to Christ’s teaching (Matthew 20: 20-23) and example (John 13:1-5) if you’re not willing to wear the second. Christ clearly taught that authority was not lording it over or controlling others. Rather it was being willing to serve others. If you desire to be first, according to His Truth, you must choose to be last. If you want to be the greatest you must choose to serve. This is not only the essence of authority but it is true humility and love as well. You and your marriage, spouse, family and relationships will be blessed if, as His disciple, you follow His example.
I close by reminding you of the intricate connection between discipleship and relationship. Our relationship with Christ is of utmost importance and that priority guides us into and helps us build agape marriages, families and relationships in Him that honor God and guides us to love and lead (serve) as Christ did.
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Make it a great day and God bless in Christ!
Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – Agape or Godly, loving marriages (or families and relationships) don’t just happen. They must be worked at and developed with a humble heart that places others above self and desires to serve.
Love and Lordship…Action Item(s) – 1) In your study and quiet time with The Lord ask Him to reveal how you perceive and live out authority, especially in your home; 2) As He reveals these things to you (and he will likely use your spouse and family to do so) ask Him to show you how you can begin to respond differently; 3) Ask Him to help you change your attitude and actions of lording it over others and what you need to do to make those changes; 4) Follow through with thoughts and actions that will bring these changes…check occasionally with your spouse and children, as applicable, to gauge how you’re doing.