Valentine, Marriage and “Family Privilege”

For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you,
and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you. (Isaiah 62:5)

Love and Lordship in Focus St. Valentine is celebrated for Romance, love and sex. What if that’s only part of the story? His real life’s work that should be celebrated is for God’s institution of Marriage…and we, as His Church must take up the mantle in our day and culture!

Having just celebrated Valentine’s Day two days ago, let me share 5 reasons that Valentine’s Day and Marriage are good for…1) Your Spouse; 2) Yourself; 3) Your Family; 4) Christ’s Church; 5) Our culture!

If we’re not on the right foundation, and Marriage in God’s design is that foundation, then very seldom, if ever, will we have the change of heart that can make the needed difference in relationships and especially, Marriage, Family and The Church. 

Take a look at the “state of our unions” and the influence, or lack thereof, that the Church has had on our culture over the past 60+ years…this must change and I believe God is calling us to stand up, call for, and live out this change.

– Since 1960, America has witnessed a 12-fold (that’s 1200%) increase in cohabitation and a 50 percent plunge in the marriage rate.

– About 45 percent of cohabiting couples undergo what is called a “premarital divorce,” which can be every bit as painful as the real thing.  Mike McManus of Marriage Savers calls these “mini divorces.”

– The half who make it to the altar are about 50 percent more likely to divorce than those who lived apart prior to marrying.

– In the end, as few as 15 of every 100 couples who cohabit go on to create a lasting marriage.

This is just the tip of the iceberg.  None of this speaks specifically to the overwhelming inundation of pornography and porneia (sexual immorality which Biblically speaking is any sex outside of one man/one woman marriage) that is rampant and accepted in our culture and even in many churches, by admission or omission.  It is found in every form of media and social media with little resistance, it is codified in our laws to endorse and promote sexual immorality and demean and diminish marriage and family, and it is literally disguised (porn that is) as education and taught to school children of every age!

So where do we find ourselves this Valentine’s Day?  Let’s look at the game plan of the socialists and liberals who know they must destroy or diminish marriage and family to bring about government control.  The playbook could be entitled,  “Family Privilege” which sounds great until you dig just beneath the surface…

The premise is rooted, as are many things today, in the faulty reasoning of tolerance and discrimination leveled in this case against the “privileging” of certain family types and structures as better than any others…even though the overwhelming social science data clearly tells a different story…there is a major positive difference in male/female married with biological or adopted children families!

Their convoluted and ideological (not scientific at all) argument “seems to be that, by giving special respect to one kind of relationship, we simultaneously disrespect all others.”  The stated goal is to “foster greater social inclusion and advancement for all people” and that, in and of itself, can be noble.  However, marriage, and all its wonderful and proven benefits, will cease to exist in any recognizable form if “family privilege” concepts and constructs prevail…and that is the deeper goal of those who are pushing this ideological agenda.  Check out the playbook…

Vladimir Lenin, the architect of the Soviet Union, stated (this sounds hauntingly familiar), “Corrupt the young, get them away from religion. Get them interested in sex. Make them superficial, destroy their ruggedness. Get control of all means of publicity and thereby: Get the peoples’ mind off their government by focusing their attention on athletics, sexy books and plays, and other trivialities. Divide the people into hostile groups by constantly harping on controversial matters of no importance. Destroy the people’s faith in their natural leaders by holding up the latter to ridicule, contempt and obloquy. Always preach true democracy but seize power as fast and as ruthlessly as possible. Encourage government extravagance, destroy its credit, produce fear with rising prices, inflation and general discontent. Foment unnecessary strikes in vital industries, encourage civil disorders and foster a soft and lenient attitude on the part of government toward such disorders. By specious argument cause the breakdown of the old moral virtues: honesty, sobriety, continence, faith in the pledged word, ruggedness. Cause the registration of all firearms on some pretext, with the view of confiscating them and leaving the population defenseless.”

With regard to marriage and family he said, “Destroy the family, you destroy the country.”  He did and tyrannically reordered it as the Communist Soviet Union.

Ultimately we are seeing this in our country throughout our media, education and government with those who agree that all relationship lifestyle choices are equal are better than those who uphold one man/one woman marriage and traditional family.  They claim the moral high ground and then shout down, censor, silence or cancel anyone who disagrees.  It’s the only way to attain what they are after as research and realities clearly show a different picture.  

If this sounds vaguely familiar it’s because it is…look no further than the BLM and related movements that hide behind racial and other injustices (which we do need to rightfully consider) while promoting the very ideals shared in this article, i.e., the destruction of the nuclear family! 

As believers in Christ, we must boldly, truthfully and graciously come against this agenda for destroying nuclear family according to God’s Covenant Order.  We must stand firm in the Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) in order to be able to continue to shine Christ’s Light and share His Love!

For more check out this article…

Here’s some food for thought…”Ross Douthat describes our culture’s loss of religion, familial breakdown, and plummeting birthrates as a set of feedback loops: the rich society creates incentives to set aside faith’s admonitions, which orients its culture more toward immediate material pleasures, which makes its inhabitants less likely to have children, which weakens the communal transmission belt for religious traditions, which pushes the society further along the materialist-individualist path. . . . and at a certain point you end up, well, here, with unparalleled prosperity joined to seemingly irresistible demographic decline.

“How can we escape this vicious cycle? Perhaps, writes Douthat, this would require ‘our society to become dramatically unlike itself, ordered to sacrifice rather than consumption, and to eternity rather than what remains of the American Dream. You would need not change on the margins, but transformation—probably religious transformation—at the heart.’”

Which brings us to Valentine’s Day and St. Valentine

The legend of St Valentine’s is much more about commitment to marriage than to Romance. Both are important but Valentine was not martyred for peddling romance and sex.  He was martyred for standing up for God’s design for Marriage against a government (Roman Emperor who outlawed marriage thinking he would have men who would be more committed to Rome.  In time it became evident that men were much more willing to die for their spouse and the country in which they lived than to do so simply for king and country).  He ultimately gave his life for the sake of Marriage!  Sadly enough we’ve made it all about romance and sex. 

Marriage is God’s design for love, oneness, romance and sex all rolled into one, ultimately to glorify Him!  And it’s AWESOME!  It’s not easy and it takes work contrary to the fairy tale and pornified cultural message that inundates us. God’s design and desire in Marriage is clear…Male and Female, Husband and Wife in a life-long covenant commitment that is to be honored by all!

When we honor marriage it means that we honor all relationships (ours and others), before, during and after marriage according to His Covenant Order and Design.  St. Valentine and his day are really about marriage much more than romance…but don’t miss the romance!

Focus on Romance only and both will fail…focus on Marriage/Commitment while working on Romance, yes, I said working on Romance, and both flourish!  Marriage is one of God’s most precious and incredible gifts given to humankind in order for family, community, His Church, and nations to flourish!

St. Valentine, Romance and Marriage…Elevate and give Marriage, your marriage and all relationships, the honor God’s Word ascribes…Valentine was willing to give his life for it…maybe he was on to something!?!

Who will stand with me as modern-day Valentines against the lies and deceptions of media, education and government and stand for Marriage, Family and Romance in line with God’s Truth so we can leave a better legacy than what was left to us?   

 Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – God’s design for Marriage calls us as believers to honor marriage not just when we say, “I Do” but long before with purity and integrity in every relationship that carries over into marriage and blesses our union and our family!

Love in Action

1.  Take time to reflect on God’s design for Marriage, relationships and sexuality.  What does that say to you? 

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.  Genesis 1:27

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:24-25

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.  Hebrews 13:4

2.  Ask The Holy Spirit to show you how this impacts your marriage and spouse.

3.  Ask The Father to reveal His will for your relationships, your present or future marriage and spouse.

4. Read this article as it helps pull all this together for marriage, relationship, romance and sex… “The Valentine’s Day Gift That Keeps On Giving”

Love and Lordship Prayer Focus Heavenly Father, Help me as Christ’s disciple to honor marriage; help us as His Bridegroom and Church to honor marriage; help our churches to stand against the tide of culture and honor marriage. In Jesus Name.  Amen.