Mentoring Minutes

We know we are in a global health pandemic but even much more disastrous we must admit that we are in a cultural and national pandemic because we are in a spiritual endemic.  We have stood at the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil (just as Eve and Adam did) and we’ve eaten from it and called ourselves “god” and defined things as we wanted them to be…and we are seeing the results all around us! 

Respect for the law and every human being comes only with humility, and that humility comes only when we see that law rooted in God and every person created in His image. But too much of our nation’s reality has been controlled arrogance, not humility: arrogance that we don’t need the God of our fathers and founders. Those on the left have convinced too many that our answers lie in politics, their secular humanism and moral relativism. The result is the destruction of life and property that true law, adhered to by true believers, protects. Only return to eternal truths will save us.                                                                                                    Star Parker

We must make changes across the board but none will be successful or fruitful if we do not make them in line with God’s Divine design and order!  It must begin with the individual!  Then we move to relationships that best develop in healthy marriage (as God designed it) and family!  When we have healthy individuals and families we can join with other families to form good communities, including our churches (which, quoting several pastors over the past week, have failed miserably) to deal with Sin and the sins in our lives and culture!  Systems then are a result of Godly, healthy people, relationships and communities!  While we must hold the following accountable, change does not begin in the White House, courthouse or schoolhouse,! It begins in your heart and house and in my heart and house, just as God designed it!

We must stand against evil and for justice in His Truth at all levels!  I’m not coming down on either side politically, my goal and heart is to come down squarely in line with God’s Word!

The Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, cutting swift and deep into our innermost thoughts and desires with all their parts, exposing us for what we really are.  Hebrews 4:12  “The Word of God is the sword that cuts first in me and then in others.”  Oswald Chambers

Think about this…Jesus prayers are always answered exactly as He asked them because He was always one with The Father.  If we are not working toward and part of that unity as He prayed then we are not His disciples and Church.  I’m speaking to all my brothers and sisters in Christ…we must see first and foremost from a Biblical worldview not media, government, science or anything else!

…that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.             John 17:21

Beginning with His Word we must PRAY!  This is to His Church… If…My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to the prayer offered in this place. 2 Chron 7:14 God help us!

I spent much of my teen and early adult life as teammates and friends with many black players, spending nights and eating meals in their homes, enjoying our fellowship and friendships, counting many of them my friends to this day. 

I know for a fact in my own personal life that there is hatred and the byproduct of “racism” (actually only one race according to Bible – human race…that’s where the problem begins…my brothers are me and I am them in God’s Creation) as it is part and parcel of our fallen human nature. 

I can tell you straight up that several times I have been in a crowd where black or brown skin color was threatened, looked down upon and demeaned (I was included because I was friends with and part of the group).  Other times I was excluded from the hateful words and actions simply because my color was white.  I hated all of it then and I hate it now!  And while I’ve seen and experienced it on a very small level, I have no idea what it’s like to live on an ongoing basis with that angst or fear nor do my children. There has been tremendous strides made but there are many left to take and it needs to begin in Christ’s Church!

However, we must be diligent and discerning not to espouse rhetoric in the heat of emotion and the moment that does more damage than good…adding to the problem rather than working to solve it! Simply put we must be prayerful and careful how we approach and reiterate the stories, studies, apologies and realities.

The research and numbers do not bear out that there is “systemic racism or injustice.”  The media tells us that nearly everything is rooted in hatred and injustice as they enflame the issues and agendas portraying only their select and worst situations.  I’m not leaning on either one of those as to whatever degree it exists, according to their reports or agendas, unless you have seen it and lived it neither of those truthfully bears witness.  The numbers may say it doesn’t happen.  Tell that to a young black boy/girl walking home through a neighborhood where he/she “does not belong.”  The media says it’s rampant and blows it up, then turns around shows all the wonderful things that happen between good cops and communities of color. 

I can tell you this though, systemic problem or otherwise, it exists in our systems and communities because they are made up of people!  I do know we have a people problem… we have a heart problem!  For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. (Matthew 15:19) When we choose to judge someone by the color of his or her skin, which happens all the time, we’ve got a problem.  While it shows up in systems and communities, it does not begin there and will not ultimately be solved there.  It begins in my heart and yours and in our relationships!  That’s why we as Christ followers must lead the way by faith in action lived out in loving relationships.  We have the solution…Jesus!

As Christ followers, we must respond first and foremost in Truth and do so in Love and Grace (Ephesians 4:15)!  Don’t let the media guide you, don’t let the numbers guide you…they may inform you but they may conflict and confuse as well, so they should never lead you… LET THE TRUTH AND LOVE OF CHRIST LEAD YOU!

We must pray for all our leaders starting in our homes, churches, communities and government, as we all try to graciously love our neighbors as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31) and submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21) – these are the foundations for any and every good relationship…WHICH MUST INCLUDE INTENTIONAL OUTREACH TO THOSE WHO LOOK DIFFERENT THAN US!  Recall Jesus answer to the synagogue leader who tried to justify himself after Jesus replied to his question about the greatest commandment.  It was the story of the Good Samaritan. Samaritans were the “hated minorities” to the Jews.  Jesus point… your neighbor is the one who acts in love regardless of ethnicity or skin color!

Blaming and looking to the system and demanding change at that level first, and/or only, allows us to avoid the hard, tough work that must be done in our own hearts!  Real change has to occur…in our hearts and relationships.  Only then will we see change in our communities and systems…that’s how God designed it to work and no amount of systemic amendments or pressure (much needed) will change that.

These problems can’t be solved at the systemic or community level alone, although there is need for change that must be addressed.  They must be solved at the personal (heart) and relational level and that responsibility God has given to His Church, His disciples, and seeing the cultural failure we need to own up to it and repent.  That’s where reconciliation and restoration always begin!  It’s desperate! God’s calling His people to wake up and get to it!

I pray that our churches and leaders will repent, teach, disciple and model this change on the personal and relational level and help hold one another accountable in obedience to His standard!  Then we can train up loving servant-leaders to impact our communities and systems for His Kingdom and Glory!

Again, communities and systems are simply products of the people that constitute them.  Any or all systemic injustice, racism, sexual immorality…sin, is always a result of the brokenness and hatred of the individuals that make them up!  As we align with Christ’s Truth on authority, love and servant-leadership in loving relationships, will we see real change…Individual>Relational>Communal>Systemic. 

 I saw this text recently, “The problem is sin not skin, & the answer is grace not race.  Jesus died for all of our sins. Our nation needs him during this time.”  Any problem with another person’s skin color is not their problem.  The problem is in my heart!

We must remain faithful to His Word and be careful not to jump on any bandwagons of emotions, “heat of the moment” reactions, media, and political or other agendas, as they tend to do more damage rather than bring reconciliation and healing.

His Love and Lordship is the answer but it must truly be His and not our cultural or personal revisions…or we find ourselves right back to the Tree of Knowledge!

God’s divine design always starts in the heart of the individual and in relationships. Fail in our hearts, homes and relationships, and no amount of community activism or government can change that. The latter two may control, coerce, or force the issues but can never change hearts! Heart change is what must happen!

This (racist) ‘DNA’ problem is called sin by preachers and cannot be altered by government programs. If it could have, it would have by now.  A changed heart is key, something government lacks the power to achieve.                 Cal Thomas

That’s why we as His Church, His disciples must stand strong in Truth and Love.  2 Corinthians 5:17-21 states, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”  We are to help reconcile and restore loving relationships among believers as His Word commands us to do. In this way we can show His Love to all people at all times.  We must work with all ethnicities and especially our black and brown brothers and sisters at this time and we must do so knowing that Christ alone has the answer.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  Galatians 6:1-2

Christ alone can break down the walls of hostility! All other attempts have been, and will continue to be, temporary at best and self-serving at worst.  He is the only One who changes the human heart. For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility. (Eph. 2:14)

Love and Lordship came about through God’s teaching and prompting me on these very issues and our failure to address them according to His design and order. 

The following is a brief outline of where we must begin according to His design…

Truth sets you free (John 8:31-32) and Jesus is that Truth (John 14:6).

Love – (Mark 12:29-31) expressed in humility, a servant’s heart and authority as His disciples (John 13:1-5, 12-17), lived out in our lives in a priority of relationships that will develop community and systems and bring the needed change.

Jesus teaches and models authority – Matthew 20:20-28; John 13:1-5, 12-17.

How can you do these things with those in your life, in your community and those that look different than you?  That’s where it begins!

We should not only be working toward unity among our brothers and sisters, it must happen because Jesus prayed for it and died to make it so!  We can make it so in His Truth, Love, grace and power!  As Christ followers we are the ones who should lead the way into Unity!

I’ll finish where I began, in God’s Word…that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.             John 17:21

Remember…The Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, cutting swift and deep into our innermost thoughts and desires with all their parts, exposing us for what we really are. Hebrews 4:12

Let that Sword cut first in me and before I ever point it to others.

That your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.  I Corinthians 2:5

Contact L&L and let us know your comments and how we can help. 

Check out @Loveandlordship for L&L LIVE every Thursday at 4pm on our Facebook page for more.  Also you can find videos and podcasts at www.loveandlorship.com. 

Make it a great day and God bless in Christ!

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – Bigorty and “racism” (ethnic or skin color prejudice) exists because of sin in our lives, individually and collectively.  Christ is the only One that can forgive sin and therefore the only One that can change our hearts and culture.

Love and Lordship…Action Item(s) – Intentionally reach out and connect with someone whose skin color is different than yours to build a deep and lasting relationship in The Lord.  Begin by listening.  Seek The Lord in prayer for this.

The modern church is on a sandy foundation. Three current realities need to change for God’s people to make disciples that impact and influence every part of culture:

1. Cultural relevance has trumped relationship.
2. Evangelism and conversion equals discipleship.
3. Programs can replace the brokenness of relationships.

I believe most church leaders and attendees desire to follow Christ.  The problem? We’ve so compromised what it means for Christ to be Lord and us to be His disciples that our good hearts and best intentions fall woefully short in making disciples with very little of Christ carried into our workplace and culture…we’ve capitulated to the world!

This is at the heart of the relationships and command that Jesus gave all of His disciples (including us).  He paid the ultimate sacrifice for us to be in a relationship with Him in which He is Lord and we must be His disciples (Luke 14:25-34)!

Everything is based on our relationship as His disciples and to Him as Lord…or the lack thereof.  The way we worship/love God…how we love self…how we serve and love others; how we handle money and things entrusted to us (especially the lives of others); how we respond to trials and crisis (including pandemics)…everything in your life and relationships is impacted by whether Christ is truly Lord of your life and you are His disciple.

Teaching this without accountability to faithful and loving obedience, inevitably leads to compromise.  That’s human nature.  The Lord has continually put this question before me in this pandemic…“Will My Church return to status quo?  Or will they come to me as disciples willing to surrender all to make disciples?”

Let’s examine the 3 realities and their impact on our churches and culture…

1.  Cultural relevance has trumped relationship.  Recent church history is filled with “distance” serving of communities with very little relationship building and gathering in fellowships, classes and small groups to share Scripture and make light conversation.  The relationships in the former are nearly non-existent and in the latter are mostly superficial with none, or very little accountability of obedience to Christ’s commands.  Compromise is rampant in marriages, families, sexual relationships, what we view, what we do, and so much more.  “But we can’t reach them if we’re not engaged in the things of the culture,” is the mantra I hear in some form or another.  The results?  Those in our churches act much more like the world than those in the world coming to know and act like Christ!  Only in loving, accountable relationships can we live out His commands as His disciples and make disciples of those we do life and engage with.

We have mastered the art of loving and leading “from afar” in community, corporate or governing settings (including the church) while struggling to obey God’s Word to make disciples in loving relationships!

C.S. Lewis said it this way; writing to his nephew and understudy, veteran tempter Screwtape reveals a little secret about human beings: we are incurably idealistic.  “Do what you will,” he warns, “there is going to be some benevolence, as well as some malice, in your patient’s soul. The great thing is to direct the malice to his immediate neighbours whom he meets every day and thrust his benevolence out to the remote circumference, to people he does not know. The malice thus becomes wholly real and the benevolence largely imaginary.”  (The Screwtape Letters)

Let’s quit following the idealism of our own nature, repent and get through and beyond this pandemic as His Church, building deep, loving (even difficult) relationships as we make disciples that make disciples!  It won’t be easy and it won’t look like the world but it is what He has always called us to do.  No more status quo!

2. Evangelism and conversion equals discipleship.  I can’t tell you how often I’ve been asked if any of the following constitutes discipleship:  Preaching, teaching, small groups and discussions, etc.?  My answer is two-fold:  First, is there obedience and accountability stemming from the relationships formed in the “discipleship?”  Second, what is the Kingdom/Spirit fruit in those being taught?  Inevitably relationships for the most part are shallow and accountability to obedience is nearly non-existent as that is how the world does teaching and accountability.  But we’re not the one’s asking or commanding…Jesus is!  Preaching, teaching, classes, small groups needed?  Absolutely!  Is that discipleship?  Only in the most shallow sense…not really!

3. Programs can replace the brokenness of relationships.  This is particularly prevalent in the way we handle marriage and family issues.  It is much easier to have a program that addresses the issues of brokenness than to actually build relationships to help repair it!  As one pastor said when we were discussing the churches’ struggle to focus on and follow through with the building of loving relationships and relational servant-leaders, “Man, Greg, you’re talking about messy, nasty stuff when it comes to relationships.”  You see why we have compromised and opted for programs that feign success with attendance and an occasional victory, rather than actually working to build relationships that help strengthen other relationships.  My response to the pastor was simply, “Which part of the “messy, nasty stuff” compromises God’s Truth and what He has called us to be?  Crickets

When we do the difficult but rewarding work to touch broken hearts, pointing them to the Only One who repairs and reconciles lives and relationships, then we are His Church and show the world His love.  It’s quite different than what is seen in culture!

Whatever we do as we walk through and emerge from this pandemic, I pray that we will not return to the status quo.  Buildings mean very little if we’re not doing the difficult, but Kingdom-building work, of developing loving relationships and making faithful disciples.

“Knowledge based learning” is not discipleship.  Discipleship is loving obedience and relationships that He has called us to live out and share!  Let’s take the challenge, in His strength and authority and work to build relationships and make disciples that reflect His Love and Lordship for His Kingdom and Glory!

If Jesus Christ is King of kings and Lord of lords…and He is.  If Jesus Christ came to save all who believe in Him so we could be in a relationship with Him…and He did.  If you have received Him as Savior and claim to be in that relationship with Him, the only question that remains…are you submitting to Him as Lord of your life?

The moment you realize God’s purpose, which is to get you rightly related to Himself and then to your fellow men, He will tax the last limit of the universe to help you take the right road.                               (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest)

Responding to Your Lord

Regarding the question in the quote above let me take it a step further.  If Christ is Lord of all and you claim to be in a relationship with Him, but He is not Lord of your life, then who is?  If He’s not Lord of your life, then what is your relationship with Him?

The ONLY WAY we can be in a relationship with Christ is with Him as Lord.  We must be His disciple, or student-servant, with our whole heart and whole life set on Him.  Wholehearted discipleship is not perfection, it is a lifelong maturation.

Remember that everyone has a Lord/lord; you are someone’s disciple.  Every part of your life reveals who is your Lord/lord and whom you are a disciple of.

For clarity’s sake, when we talk of discipleship it is based on the Scriptural principle and meaning of obedience-based discipleship, not knowledge-based as is so prevalent in our churches today and is not really discipleship at all.  Personal discipleship comes with the expectation of, and accountability for, obedience to His Word and in our walk with The Lord.  Relational discipleship is training and holding others accountable to obedience as we share and apply His Word to make disciples.  This is what the culture needs to see if they are going to find anything different in our faith than in their world!

A Discipleship Story

He came into my office expressing his concern that he was five minutes late due to work circumstances.  I told him it was no problem.  We prayed and I looked up and he was weeping profusely.  He’d already shared with me over the phone the reason for the tears so I asked him to just fill me in as to how he and his now estranged wife had arrived at this difficult and painful situation.

He filled me in on their backstory.  They had been married nine years after meeting his wife in Bible college.  He was sexually promiscuous before meeting her; she was not and they remained chaste in their courtship.  He was “addicted” to porn, but as is the case for many he kept it a tightly guarded secret.

With that dirty little “nugget” securely tucked away, they seemed to have had a really good relationship and sex life (according to him) the first 4-5 years.  In time the guilt became too heavy and he confessed the porn to her.  She practically cut him off from sex over the next four years.  Though he tried to fight the temptation, he continued with porn and about three years after the confession he had an affair. 

I shared with him that this was God’s design coming true in the flesh: where the eyes and mind go the body will eventually follow. 

She left him, and here he was sitting in my office having finally sought counsel as she had asked him to do years earlier after the initial porn confession.  In pride, he had chosen not to do so. 

He was heartbroken, full of guilt and shame, and missing his wife.  She had made no contact with him for the four months following her departure.  

He came into my office one week and said he was considering not continuing with any counseling or mentoring as it was doing no good.  I asked what that meant and he said, “She’s not coming back.” 

I asked. “What do you think you’re here for?”  He said, “To get my wife back and my marriage restored.” 

I responded, “If that happens, what’s going to be different?  You will still be the same prideful, lustful, sorry-for-yourself person that will not give into lust and porn for a while because of the grief and shame of having committed adultery and nearly losing your wife.  You’re not here first and foremost to get her back and restore your marriage.  You are here to understand what it means to be in a relationship with Christ and for Him to be Lord of your life—all of it!  As you walk in this faithfully He will shape and mold you into His disciple and the man and husband that He died for and desires you to be.  Then if your wife responds to His work and will in her life and comes back, you will be the husband and man that can make this marriage what God wants it to be. You’re here to know Christ above all else.” 

He agreed with deeper sobs and tears.

I tell that story for one simple reason.  Here was a man and couple that met in Bible college, knew God’s Word, and faithfully attended and served in their church.  Yet secret sin was prevalent in his life that, once revealed, led to deeper sin and destructive consequences.  The response from his wife, while certainly understandable, did not comport with God’s Word. Now what God had put together, a man and woman had torn apart. 

I’d like to say that the couple is back together and doing well and that this was a rare occurrence in our churches today, but they are not as far as I know.  The outcome is far from rare, although it is certainly a lesser occurrence in strong Bible-believing, Christ-centered churches.  The common denominator in most every story of broken covenant is that, much like this Bible college-educated, church attending, apparently happy-on-the-outside couple, many do not know and have never been discipled to be a disciple of Christ.

Our churches spend an inordinate amount of time, energy and effort on marketing a message that attracts and keeps folks coming, making converts to their community.  When it comes to making disciples of Jesus Christ in intimate loving relationships, there is a tremendous void.  How can we be His united Church if this persists?

This is a call to our homes and churches, especially those called to servant-leadership roles and responsibilities, to make His Lordship and our discipleship the overriding and all-consuming priority as His Word calls us to do!

Jesus on The Cost of Discipleship

We’ve already established that to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ means that He must be Lord and we must be His disciples.  Let’s explore what Our Lord Himself says about the cost of being His disciple.

It is nothing short of a tremendous gift of grace and blessing to be saved by Christ and to walk as His disciple.  That does not mean that it is easy. 

In Luke 14:25-35, Jesus describes the commitment (remember this is love) that is REQUIRED to be His disciple.  Bear with me once again as I paraphrase for brevity and ask you to read the text yourself to determine whether or not I’m adhering to His stern call to discipleship.

As the crowds grew, Jesus’ response was to ensure that they were following Him for the right reasons. (Compare this with many of today’s churches, as we’ll see this again later regarding John 6).  His first comment was downright tough! Again this is my paraphrase so read it for yourself.  Jesus says if we have anything in our life, including our own life, then we can’t be His disciples.  He doesn’t focus on money, fame, or stuff; He talks about the most important of relationships: marriage and family. Ouch! Anything in your life taking priority over Christ?  This is a call to maturity in Christ.  We may struggle and stumble, but His call is to determine and display in our hearts and lives that He is first and foremost.

He then describes the cost in two ways:  1) Financially – He describes someone attempting to build a tower that does so without considering what it will cost.  The end result is a half-built tower and it becomes a focal point of ridicule for all who see it; 2) Battle – He describes a king going to battle with half the number of his enemy.  Either he must determine whether he has a plan to defeat the enemy or he must come with a white flag and discuss “peace.”

The outcome in the first example is that our life and what is produced by a weak faith is a mockery for those who witness it.  In other words, Jesus is saying if you don’t count the cost and sell out to me or, live like He is first in your life, your faith is a laughingstock.  We can’t continue to display a faith that doesn’t put Him first in all things.

In the Battle example, the result is a compromise and likely surrender.  This is certainly not the victorious Christian life that His Word speaks of, as so many try to live with a partial or weak faith and claim they are His disciples. By His own words Jesus says that we can’t be half-hearted and be His disciples.

OUCH AGAIN!  And He’s not finished yet.

Jesus goes on to say, “In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples” (Luke 14:33).  How many of us are trying to be His disciples on our own compromised terms when, according to Him, we simply can’t be and are not?  What must He think of us? 

Finally, He closes by stating that those who are trying to live as His disciples on their own terms essentially have no impact in His Kingdom.  The impact of their saltiness is worthless. 

Let me give you a final paraphrase in context with this passage that I pray will drive the point home and compel all those who call Him Savior to seek and desire to walk with Him as Lord.  In essence Jesus is saying, if He’s not first in our lives, if we do not count the cost of the calling and commitment, and we do not take up our own cross (i.e., go to the death of our own self and selfish desires) then we are not His disciples.  Stated another way: If we are not willing to pay the price, then He is not our Lord and our faith is a mockery to those who observe us.  Is it any wonder the culture is not drawn to our modern-day faith and to Christ but rather to our souped-up services design to attract with little or no accountability and commitment expected?

What does your discipleship response to Christ look like?

Contact Love and Lordship and let us know what you’re thinking and how we can help. 

Check out @Loveandlordship for L&L LIVE every Thursday at 4pm on our Facebook page for more.  Also you can find videos and podcasts at www.loveandlorship.com. 

Make it a great day and God bless in Christ!

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – Christ gave up His glorious lifestyle in heaven to become a human being and then gave up His life all so we could be saved.  We are saved to be in a relationship with Christ and He is Lord of all.  Have you been deceived to accept Christ as Savior but not as Lord?  Being His disciple, as He saved us to be means He takes priority over every part of our lives.

Love and Lordship…Action Item(s) – Take an inventory of the most important things in your life.  Determine which things mean the most to you and be brutally honest in where Christ is placed in your life.