Mentoring Minutes

“But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors.” James  (James 2:9)

Love and Lordship in Focus…Godly love requires us to see and serve all people equally without discrimination. This does not mean accepting the sin or sinful lifestyles of others but sharing and serving them even as we speak Truth in Love.

Building on last week’s message, our next “one another” as we continue in Paul’s first letter to the church at Corinth in 1 Corinthians 12:25-26 and look where The Holy Spirit leads Paul to write just after reminding us to wait on others. He tells us that love is to “have equal concern for each other.” In a simple summary, James, the half-brother of Jesus and first Elder in the Church at Jerusalem says…don’t show favoritism for it is sin (James 2:9)!

In Paul’s text he is describing the various parts of the body, our literal body, as an example of how all the parts are absolutely needed and of great importance. No one part is greater than any other regardless of the function and recognition given to it. This is how the Body of Christ is to function and by giving equal concern and care for each other we avoid division and create unity.

He follows this teaching on the unity and importance of all the parts and gifts of the Body with what we know as The Love Chapter in 1 Corinthians 13. Here The Holy Spirit, through Paul, describes what happens when we place undue importance and priority on what we’re doing rather than why we’re doing it…in Love.

This is why we must not show partiality or favoritism in any way because it divides us and it diminishes His Love in and through us. We rejoice in their blessings and fruitfulness and we hurt when they hurt…this is love as we care for each and every “other” in the fellowship in His Church.

How are you caring for all those in your sphere of influence?

As Paul, in The Holy Spirit, continues to address the various early church plants we find more and more of these “one anothers” encouraging The Body of Christ in how we are to love each other and all others in Him, bringing us to our final “one another” this week.

In Galatians 5:13, just before Paul describes the lusts of the flesh and the fruit of The Spirit, he tells the believers, then and now, to “serve one another in love.”

Just before this passage he has spent time admonishing believers regarding 2 key issues; 1) to know the freedom they have in Christ and; 2) not to abuse that freedom so that it becomes license (a false freedom of unbridled sin).

How do we do this? By placing others above self in love and serving our fellow man. Doing this as an overflow of our love for Christ it keeps us from turning our freedom in Him into selfish satisfaction and seeking for our own fleshly desires.

This serving is not simply a duty on a checklist but as Paul states, it is done because of and in love. This is why it’s essential that we understand and continue to seek and grow in our love for God, know and love who we are so that we are “serving one another in love.”

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – Are you waiting on and serving others in love…with equal concern? Or are we selfish and/or biased based on how we or the culture might rate and rank others?

Love in Action –

1. Spend time with Him in His Word and prayer daily – read and study the Scriptures in this post as a way to start
2. Ask The Holy Spirit to teach you
3. How do you practice patience and deference to others? Where do you need to grow in these areas?
4. Take some time to search (and ask The Holy Spirit to search) your heart to find out the source of your serving others? Respond to whatever you find out in line with God’s Word to serve selflessly.

Contact us at loveandlordship@gmail.com.

Love and Lordship Prayer Focus…Heavenly Father, truly loving others must come first from and by You in and through my life. Help me to love without bias, learning to love and serve all equally. Amen.

“So then, my brothers and sisters, when you come together to eat, wait for one another.” Paul  (1 Corinthians 11:33)

Love and Lordship in Focus…Waiting for, or showing deference to, others is a sign of love and humility. No wonder The Holy Spirit directed us to wait for one another even as we gather together as believers to eat…but it’s about much more than just eating.

Today’s “one another” is somewhat interesting in that it is very simple to understand but evidently not always easy to follow through (maybe that’s true of all of the “one anothers” and certainly true apart from Christ). We find it in 1 Corinthians 11:33 where we are told to “wait for each other” when we come together to eat.

In the context it strongly appears to point to those who were giving into their hunger pangs and coming just to fulfill those with no regard to other believers. This caused them to fall or fail in two ways: 1) to wrongly partake of the Lord’s Supper (Communion or Eucharist) because they were more concerned with filling their bellies and flesh rather than acknowledging The Lord’s sacrifice, death and payment on our behalf, and therefore bringing condemnation on themselves (1 Corinthians 11:27); 2) they ate impatiently and indulgently or selfishly (see vv. 17-22) and without thought, care of deference for others, i.e., waiting respectfully on all those who would gather to partake.

Both of these point to a heart that is hardened and not open to humility, generosity and fellowship as it places self above others. It hinders and/or destroys the loving fellowship of believers, which is the desire of Christ for His Bride, The Church.

Seems simple but when we move in our flesh there is a need for the command, not just about eating and partaking properly, but this is only accomplished with hearts of love…loving one another as we wait for and, defer to, one another.

What guides and drives your heart, mind and body (flesh, hunger, lust, selfish desires)…OR humility, graciousness, gratitude, generosity, others above self? Only Jesus can give you the latter and that’s why all the “one anothers” of love and loving are found only in Him!

As we continue with the “one anothers” in Scripture I need to remind myself and, if needed, you will receive this reminder…the “one anothers” are included in Scripture to literally help us love others as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31)…and as Christ has loved us (John 14:15).

However as we spent time sharing previously in these posts we can do neither without first knowing and learning to love God with all we are (Mark 12:29-30) as we prayerfully attempted to do through better knowing His Names. The we must learn to love who we are in Christ (Ephesians 2:10) as we did in the Identity in Christ focus.

Food for Thought…From what or where does your service flow? Is there evidence in your life of your loving relationship with God (not just attending church, giving and serving but time spent in His Word, in prayer and in meditating and listening to and for Him)?

Love in Action –

1. Spend time with Him in His Word and prayer daily – read and study the Scriptures in this post as a way to start
2. Ask The Holy Spirit to teach you
3. How do you practice patience and deference to others? Where do you need to grow in these areas?
4. Take some time to search (and ask The Holy Spirit to search) your heart to find out the source of your serving others?

Contact us at loveandlordship@gmail.com.

Love and Lordship Prayer Focus…Heavenly Father, as I learn to focus on and prioritize You above all else You are teaching and empowering me to place others above self. My I, in humility and deference continue to do so with all people and in so going point them to Christ.  In His Name. Amen.

“So then, my brothers and sisters, when
you come together to eat, wait for one another.” Paul  (1 Corinthians 11:33)

 

Love and Lordship in Focus
(this is the focus for LandL LIVE)

 

Waiting for, or showing deference to, others is a sign
of love and humility. No wonder The Holy Spirit directed us to wait for one
another even as we gather together as believers to eat…but it’s about much more
than just eating.

“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” Paul

(Ephesians 5:33)

Love and Lordship in Focus…God’s covenant design for male and female as the only two genders is ultimately for marriage (although not everyone will or must be married). Only as we learn to love Him first and with all our being will we truly learn to honor marriage and love our spouse as the one flesh that His Covenant Marriage makes us!

Be sure to read through all three of the following stories to see the fruit of following God’s Word in marriage and family…

A young husband shared this story…three months before we married, I was laid off from my job. With our income slashed, we had to pull back from our search for an apartment to live in after the wedding.

Thankfully, my parents owned an apartment building. But when I explained our situation to my mom, she shocked me by saying she would not allow us to move into their building. 

Furthermore, she said that after the wedding she didn’t want me to complain to her if my wife and I ever had a fight.

How could a strong Christian woman respond to her son like that? I felt rejected by one of the women who’d loved me most.

But my mom understood what would force me to leave my father and mother and hold fast to my wife (Ephesians 5:31). 

It forced my wife-to-be and me to work together in ways we never had. She helped me consider new positions and the implications they would have on our life together. When I ultimately found a job, the victory was ours.

In a similar true story, with names changed, Betty called her parents after less than 5 years of marriage and 2 children and announced that she was leaving Bob and coming home with the children…sure that Mom and Dad would welcome them with open arms. After all, Bob had not been the perfect husband.

Much to Betty’s dismay, here was her parent’s reply…you are not welcome in our home as a retreat from your husband. Here’s what you must do before we consider anything: 1) Write down all the complaints you have against Bob and why you want to leave; 2) Write down all the things you like about Bob; 3) After you’ve written down all his issues and the things you like about Bob, write down next to them how you responded to each and every one of them.

One last thing her Mom required…Betty had to match every complaint with her response… good, bad or ugly.

Betty quickly filled a page and more with a lengthy list of all of Bob’s faults and how it had such a negative effect on her and the children. With great difficulty, she wrestled to jot down just 2 or 3 things that she liked about Bob. Finally, her greatest struggle came when she began to honestly write down her responses to her husband.

As she did she began to notice a pattern that she could not be proud of…many of Bob’s issues were more a result of her attitude and reactions than his treatment and responses of her. The more that she followed through on this exercise the more she realized that she was at much as fault as he was.

She committed to changing her attitude and actions toward Bob and quickly realized a new husband and a wonderful marriage.

A few weeks after her Mom’s ultimatum, she called her, choking back tears to thank her and explain to her what a wonderful difference she had seen in her husband and how blessed she was to have him and to be in a great marriage!

Let me share with you the God’s Covenant Order and the Biblical perspective that will help you prioritize your relationships, keep the peace and be blessed in doing so:

1. A wholehearted loving relationship with Christ as Lord is imperative or you will not have the humility and courage to keep the rest of these in their proper place

Loving Others in Covenant Order and priority of God’s Word…

• Your marriage
• Your spouse
• Children and family, if and once you begin to have children
• Extended family
• Others, including your church family

Leaving your parents is not a rejection of your past. It’s a wholehearted embrace of your spouse, your marriage and your future together in Christ. And wise parents who know God’s Word and design will work to make this happen as well.

You can read all about these in our book, The Authority of Love, Second Edition, found on Amazon (spell out S-E-C-O-N-D), along with much more that will help you to navigate your relationship with God and all others in Christ!

Let me close by sharing how this played out in my marriage and family. I’m very grateful for parents who cared deeply for me and were there for me. However, after I got married, in subtle and eventually not so subtle ways, my Mom’s love for her children began to intrude in our marriage. I loved her greatly but as I was taught by her and God’s Word, my marriage and wife came first.

I sat down and wrote a letter to my Mom simply stating that she had taught me the proper priorities in my life and now in my marriage and family. I explained a few scenarios to her where her actions or reactions had placed her expectation for me with her and the larger family above those with and for my wife. Because she had taught me well, I graciously shared with her why I needed to make different decisions than she expected and would do so to keep my marriage and wife the priorities that they needed to be and she would need to understand and accept this.

Her initial response was reluctance and a bit hurt but about three weeks after she received the letter she called and said she was very grateful and that it had helped her to see more clearly how this had played out and she was more than willing to change her attitude and expectations on me and Ami. Not only did it bless our marriage but it also strengthened my Mom’s relationships with me and Ami bringing a much better atmosphere in our relationships, conversations and in many wonderful family gatherings.

When we follow God’s design and order found in His Word, everyone benefits. It may not be pleasant and easy at first as those involved come to grips with it but as each person sees this according to God’s Word the relationships are greatly enhanced and God’s blessings in those relationships are much more desired and enjoyed.

Food for Thought…Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31) What does it look like in your marriage and with your parents and in-laws when it comes to leaving and cleaving? Have you actually done so?

Love in Action –

1. Spend time in God’s Word, prayer and listening…start with Scriptures in this post.
2. As you do each day, ask The Holy Spirit to teach you what it means to leave and cleave, where you’ve done it well and where you need to continue to make it happen.
3. Identify the priorities and areas in your life where you are too dependent on your parents or in-laws
4. Discuss with your spouse how both of you can begin to “leave and cleave” in obedience to God’s Word and to bless your marriage while maintaining a healthy relationship with your parents.

Contact us at loveandlordship@gmail.com.

Love and Lordship Prayer Focus…Heavenly Father, it’s not Your Word that’s difficult but when my flesh and selfish desires tempt me to do it my way. Help me to walk with You, in marriage and with my spouse according to Your Word and trust You for the fruit in our lives, marriage and family. In Jesus Name. Amen.