Mentoring Minutes

(John 13:34; 1 John 4:20) As we’ve shared about God’s Covenant Order and what it means to love God, yourself and others we can move forward with this new or renewed understanding.

Here are three keys from the Greatest Commandments to building agape Kingdom relationships, especially marriage, according to His Word. As we build agape Kingdom marriages we then form loving families, which in turn strengthens the loving relationships that make up Christ’s Church. (Note how these principles all flow from our discipleship relationship with Christ):

KEY #1…Worship God alone and love Him with all you are! (Deuteronomy 6:4-5; Mark 12:29-30) If we do not spend time to get to know, worship and love Him, we will struggle in every other relationship, including marriage and family.

Submission is the 1^st key that flows from this 1^st and Greatest Commandment.  It is found in what we are called to do in honoring one another in relationships and particularly in marriage. Ephesians 5:21-25: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

We must learn to first love and submit to God and, out of honor for Christ, we are called and can then submit to one another. Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands. This is not a command to the husband to make his wife submit. This is a command to the wife to willingly choose to submit to her husband because she’s already submitted to Christ and learned to love God with all she is.

Husbands are called to submit in love and relational servant-leadership, literally to submit or surrender his life for his wife just as Christ did for His Bride, The Church. Again, wives, this is not a command to you to make your husband love you. It is a command to husbands to be obedient to Christ in daily choosing to love our wife because we have first submitted to Christ and learned to love God with all we are.  Let us be imitators of Christ (Ephesians 5:1-2). Loving submission is the key!

I’ve mentioned before that many of these principles would be repeated and would take on deeper meaning as we learn and apply God’s Truth to the highest of human relationships in marriage so that we can build Godly families, and from these, the loving relationships that are His Church!

Years ago The Spirit revealed one of the most profound teachings and I have taught it faithfully ever since (I know I’m not alone in this but very few that I’ve shared it with have ever thought through this and applied it). It has changed countless husbands and, in the process, marriages (and wives) for His glory. Remember every marriage is intended to reflect His image and glorify Him and also, husbands, that we are the Christ figure in our marriage!

In my prayer and study, I was challenged to go beyond the obvious question, “Husbands, would you take a bullet (die) for your wife?” This is a question most pastors, Christian counselors, or marriage therapists ask reiterating to husbands the command for them “to love their wife and give up their life for her as Christ did the Church” (Ephesians 5:25). As I thought through this The Spirit took me to Philippians 2:5-8. I didn’t get it at first, but the more I prayed and meditated it became clear what He was prompting me to teach in line with His Word.

The Apostle Paul, who wrote both Ephesians and Philippians under the inspiration and guidance of The Holy Spirit, was giving instructions to husbands as to what it truly cost Christ to “lay down His life for His Bride.”

Our first love has to be our love for God. It is from His love for us, and our growing in our love for Him, that we can love all others, including ourselves, which leads to our second command and key to more fully understand this teaching.

Love Who You Are in Christ! (Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31)

What is true in every other relationship is even more impactful in marriage. As we mature in our love for God, loving Him with our whole life, He is able to reveal more and more to us who we are created, and recreated in Christ, to be. Only then can we learn to truly love who we are. This is the essence of, and reveals, our second key:

KEY #2…Humility

Philippians 2:3-8: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”

First of all, as we allow God to reveal who we are in Christ then we begin to form Christ’s Mind in us…that of Humility! The whole description of Christ shows a character of humility; and remember that humility is knowing and being confident and content of who we are in Christ so we can place others above ourselves.  Imagine what our marriages and all relationships would look like as we practice humility in Christ!

FOR HUSBANDS ONLY (but we all can learn from Christ’s example)

This Key of Humility applies to all of us, but husbands I don’t want to leave you hanging any longer. Now that we’ve read through what Christ did for His Bride (Philippians 2:5-8) we can understand and apply Paul’s teaching from Ephesians (5:23-29) more fully when it comes to “laying down our life for our wife” as mentioned in the first key.

Taking a bullet or going to the cross is easy, okay maybe not easy, especially if we know The Lord because we know we’re going to end up with Him. However, Christ did more than just give up His physical life. The passage above describes in detail that the first thing Jesus gave up was His lifestyle—all the glorious life He had with The Father in heaven.

Think about it. When Paul writes that we are to lay down our lives just as Christ did for His Bride, he fully understood that for marriages to be blessed and to reflect all that God intended, we husbands would need to lay down our lifestyles and place the needs and desires of our wife above our own. This has to hold true because had Jesus not surrendered His lifestyle in heaven first, then He could not have become fully God and fully man and His death on The Cross (what we always equate with “giving up our life for our wife”) would have meant nothing.

In order for Jesus’ life and death on earth to accomplish anything He first had to give up His lifestyle in heaven. I know it’s not easy, but it’s good because it is what He has called us to and He did nothing less than model it for us!  This is Humble Submission…the first 2 keys in Kingdom marriage!

Now we can begin to grasp what love truly is and how we can love our wife, family, and all others, which brings us to our third command and the key that it reveals…

Love Others As You Love Yourself! (Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31)

Are you beginning to see God’s design for loving relationships? As shared earlier, we can’t fully love others unless we have first begun to grow in our love for God and for ourselves. This should be paramount in how we make disciples. Teach and train first to love God, and love who we are in Christ so we can then love others and show them His love. As we humbly submit to Christ and others and place others before self, we are developing the same attitude and heart as Christ, allowing us to love others with the third key:

Key #3…Servant’s Heart – we see this when Jesus washes His disciples’ feet and then instructs them to do the same for others in John 13:12-17. “When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his robe and returned to his place. ‘Do you understand what I have done for you?’ he asked them. ‘You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.’”

This Kingdom Truth of Love and relational servant-authority (or leading) is the goal as to how we are to love and lead as He did, rather than conforming to how the world loves and leads.

Remember from our earlier devotionals on this text in John 13 that this in Christ’s Kingdom this is where love (v. 1), humility (v. 3), serving (vv. 4-5), authority (v. 12-13) and discipleship (vv. 14-17) come together. This is what Kingdom relationships are to look like…and the highest of those is Marriage.

“Christ’s idea is that we serve Him by being the servants of other men… He says that in His Kingdom he that is greatest shall be the servant of all. The real test of the saint is not preaching the gospel, but washing disciples’ feet, that is, doing the things that do not count in the actual estimate of men but count everything in the estimate of God.” — Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Imagine once again what our marriages, families and churches would look like if we made disciples that loved God with their whole being and above everything else, loved who we are in Christ, so we could love one another as Christ loved us. Our marriage and family should be integral as His Church, not just going to Church!

This is Christ in us and through us, as we love others in His Covenant Order:

Marriage→ Spouse→Children/Family→His Church→The World.

Loving Service is Authority and Freedom (Matthew 20:25-28)

King Arthur is credited with saying, “In serving each other we become free.” This is not only one of the core principles of Camelot; it is truth for every disciple of Christ and in every marriage, family, and relationship as we build the currency of His Kingdom.

May He find us faithful as His disciples to love as He loved us and as He instructed us to love Him and others—this is how the world can see Who He is in and through us and come to know Him. May it begin in your marriage (and in mine) and may our families and churches be blessed as we live and love, as we are free and as we influence (Kingdom authority) others in His Truth, Grace and Love!

Real Life Application – Leading With a Humble Servant’s Heart

Matthew 20:25-28; Philippians 2:3-5; Ephesians 5:23-28; 1 Peter 5:5

I learned this early in our marriage and the simple lesson has impacted many others. Ami (my wife) came from a divorced family and, as is very common, there are deep issues of distrust. We discussed this often and we both prayed and worked diligently to be aware of the issues and circumstances that would trigger thoughts of distrust as well as those that would build trust.

About three years into our marriage, she called one evening as I was in my office late. I could hear the pain in her voice. You see my job was athletic director and head basketball coach with a small private Christian school that owned none of the fields, gyms, or facilities that we used to practice and compete. At any moment we could lose use of a facility and the schedule would need to be reworked. That meant making calls to the schools we were competing against, referees, and parents.

Most of the time I was given enough lead time to make the changes, but I would fairly often need to work late to have the schedule set for the next day.

That brings us back to Ami’s call. She explained what we’d talked about many times before, that whenever I didn’t show up at or near the appointed time, distrust would rear its ugly head. This happened too many times as I got caught up in getting things in order and failed to give her a call and let her know.

She said, “If you would just give me a call and let me know what’s going on and reassure me that all is well, it would help me a lot.”

Now, as I’ve shared this with many men and couples, the typical response in our pride as men is to think, “She’s just checking up on me and I don’t need another Momma! She just needs to trust me.” I have to admit that knowing I was doing nothing wrong or worthy of distrust, I entertained the same thoughts and response.

However, before I said anything, I said a quick prayer and in that moment The Holy Spirit simply prompted me to think, “Pride or humility? Your choice.”

I asked Ami what she needed and she said, “If you’d just call once or twice a day, especially if something happens and you know your schedule is going to change, that would help me so much.”

Simple, right? I either bow my back and tell her to get over it and trust me, or I do something to help her build more trust in me. The Holy Spirit’s prompting came to me again and it really was simple. Pride puts the burden on her and would continue to lead to distrust. Humility put the burden on me to do all I could to show her that she could trust me.

I began the next day and have not missed a day of calling or texting her in the 25+ years since. Distrust faded and trust became her default as God directed me to think of her above myself and I obeyed instead of giving into my pride. With that trust came an ever-growing peace in our marriage and family. Totally worth it!

I close this with what I share with every guy that I counsel on this: “You can choose to think, ‘I don’t need another Momma,’ (every one of them shares that thought in some way), or you can humbly do what’s best for your wife and marriage.

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – Husbands, a brief few minutes touching base throughout the day will mean two to four hours of peace each evening that builds more and more over the course of your marriage as long as you are honest and trustworthy. Or you can choose to put the burden on her and watch the tension and distrust build each evening and throughout your marriage. Seems like a ‘no-brainer’ to me, but it’s your choice.”

Love and Lordship…Action Item(s) –

1. Read the Scriptures in this article. Ask The Holy Spirit to change your heart and teach you how to apply the 3 Keys of Agape Relationships.
2. How are these 3 Keys to Agapeparamui Relationships evident in your life?
3. Where do you need to grow in any or all of these 3 Keys in your relationships, especially in your marriage and family? 
4. What’s holding you back?  Be brutally honest and then seek The Lord and His Spirit to make the changes needed.

We’ve spent a considerable amount of time laying the foundation of Christ’s Lordship, our discipleship response in living out the relationship we’re given with God in Christ, and doing so in Love and Humility. This requires that we do so in His Wisdom. As we begin to now focus on building our earthly relationships (check out previous articles on Love for a refresher as to God’s Covenant Order for all relationships) we must pay attention to what God says about Wisdom so that it will be our guide.

Here are 5 things to help us understand as we focus on and learn to grow in His Wisdom in every aspect of our lives and relationships:

1) Wisdom in God, in Christ, in all of creation (Proverbs 8:22-31; Colossians 1:16)

2) Fear of God is where Wisdom begins (Proverbs 1:7; 9:10)

3) Knowledge (intellect) alone is not Wisdom (1 Corinthians 8:1-2)

4) Humility comes from Godly Wisdom (James 3:13)

5) We must differentiate between Godly Wisdom rather than worldly “wisdom” (James 3:14-18)

Let’s take a deeper look at each of these beginning with: 1) Wisdom in God and Christ and all of creation (Proverbs 8:22-31; Colossians 1:16)

Wisdom begins and ends with God. Our own intellect or knowledge apart from God, as we will see throughout this particular focus leads to pride and ultimately to our own destruction. However, God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are complete and perfect in Wisdom. We can Biblically state that all true Wisdom springs from God and by implication and inference in His Word that He is Wisdom.

In the Proverbs 8 passage, we see Wisdom accompanied the “first” of His works in Creation which points directly to what the Apostle Paul says regarding Christ Himself in the Colossians passages. Mathematically we can say that Christ = God (Colossians 2:9); Christ was present in Creation (Colossians 1:16); Wisdom was present in Creation (Proverbs 8:22-31)…therefore God is Christ and all Wisdom flows from Him and holds all things together.

We may not be able to say God/Christ = Wisdom but from Creation, His Word and in Christ it certainly should be evident why Wisdom comes from fearing and revering Him alone!

This is what helps us accept Christ as Lord, walk as His disciples and build every relationship on the Wisdom of His Love and Humility! When we attempt to do it in our “wisdom” we immediately “dethrone” Christ and our walk and relationships suffer and crumble!

The greatest thing we find out is that Wisdom establishes for us that Christ is Lord! This is huge and where we must all start in the relationship that He has made possible for us in His sacrificial death…He is over all! Is He over you?

How can we be sure and know that we’re walking in it? Glad you asked (or at least I asked for you). This leads to our second point regarding Wisdom…

2) Fear of God is where Wisdom begins (Proverbs 1:7; 9:10).

How does fear lead to Wisdom? Fear of man will not but fear of God… literally placing Him and His Truth above all else…is the only thing that will lead you into Wisdom.

Where does God rate and rank in your life? What do your fear most in making decisions? How others will see and react to you? Or how it honors God? This changes everything as we walk in Christ…or apart from Him.

This is why we’re spending time in this as we transition in our L&L devotional and prayer focus from Lordship and discipleship into loving relationships. So much of what the world and culture have redefined and pursued is a “false” (void of Truth) love, rooted in the flesh and fear of man rather than seeking God and fearing (absolute reverence) of Him.

We can fear God because He is all Truth and Love and always acts accordingly! He never changes and we can count on that and should fear Him if we are not walking with Him (Malachi 3:6a; James 1:17). People apart from and with no fear of, God always act in selfishness and “lord it over” others creating fear of man that moves us further and further from God and real Wisdom.

Spend time getting to know God and choose to honor His Truth in every part of your life (fearing Him and His Word) and you will be increasingly walking in Wisdom.  Don’t you desire this in your life and relationships?

Remember, walking in Wisdom (Godly fear and Truth), is what guides us to live with Christ as Lord and as His disciples. We then can fulfill the law of Love in building relationships with all others in His Truth and Wisdom.

This is why we must recognize and accept that our own wisdom or knowledge not only falls far short of building these relationships for His Church and Kingdom but also leads to being “puffed up” or prideful in our own thinking.

This is the essence from God’s Word of our third point regarding Wisdom…

3) Knowledge (intellect) alone is not Wisdom (1 Corinthians 8:1-2)…you’re likely familiar with the saying, “The more I know the more I realize I don’t know.”

This captures the thoughts of this text in helping us understand that as long as we’re trusting in our own knowledge we are not only coming up short but it will lead to a great fall and destruction (Proverbs 16:18-19).

You can test God’s Word all you want and continue to walk in your own “wisdom” or you can take Him at this Word and realize that our “wisdom” is prideful and leads to no good. Fearing Him and walking in His Wisdom brings about the fruit of His Kingdom and Spirit (Galatians 6:7-8) and gives us eternal life, here and now, as well as in the life to come!

Don’t know about you but I’ve tried my own “wisdom” and God was and is right…it led to a fall and destructive outcomes. I’m now living in His Wisdom and receiving His good fruit. I hope that you are seeing the clear contrast between the Wisdom that is of God and the wisdom of this world (1 Corinthians 1:21, 25; 3:19).

The greatest contrast, and simply put, is that worldly wisdom is rooted in the flesh and leads to pride which makes it difficult to see our own foolishness… and the Wisdom of God is from His Word and Spirit and leads to…

4) Humility comes from Godly Wisdom (James 3:13)

Right from the beginning the enemy attacked the Wisdom of God and offered us the opportunity to come up with our own wisdom and stand as our own authority (Genesis 3:4-5). Of course, that’s very appealing to the flesh and let’s be honest, if Eve (and Adam) had not taken the bait and the first bite of that forbidden fruit (nor anyone else up to present time), I would have (and so would you).

We are created in God’s image so we desire to create, love in relationship and walk in authority. The problem is that God alone is The Authority so when Adam and Eve (and you and me) step in and usurp His Authority, our “wisdom” is rooted in our selfish flesh. So…

5) We must differentiate between Godly Wisdom and worldly “wisdom” (James 3:13-18)

Do I want jealousy, envy, deception and selfishness (the wisdom of my flesh and the world) or do I want the Wisdom that is pure, peaceful, gentle, submissive, unbiased, sincere, integral and brings good fruit…a harvest of peace and righteousness?

Let me simply share key Wisdom (certainly not exhaustive as all of Scripture is the very Word and Wisdom of God) from those who were inspired by The Holy Spirit to pass on His perfect Wisdom to us…

Moses… “In the beginning, God…” Genesis 1:1

David… “The heavens declare the glory of God…” Psalm 19

Isaiah… “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil…” Isaiah 5:20; “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1

Peter… “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Matthew 16:16

John… “In the beginning was The Word…” John 1:1

“And The Word became flesh and dwelt among us full of truth and grace.” John 1:14

Paul… “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” 2 Timothy 3:16

“I no longer live but Christ lives in me.” Galatians 2:20

“You are saved by grace through faith, a gift from God…you are His workmanship to do the good works He purposed for you…” Ephesians 2:8-10

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:3-5

Jesus… “You are my disciples if you remain in my word, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

“I Am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

“It is finished.” John 19:30

“All authority is given to me…go make disciples.” Matthew 28:18-20

“My grace is sufficient for you.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

“It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.” Revelation 21:6

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – There is so much more of His Wisdom found in His Word! Read it daily and find out for yourself!  Will you choose His Wisdom or yours and the world?

Love and Lordship…Action Item(s) –

1. Read the Scriptures in this article and ask The Holy Spirit to teach you the Wisdom of God.
2. Think and/or write down how you apply wisdom in your life and relationships.
3. Write down the fruit of your wisdom in your life and relationships.
4. What needs to change, if anything?  How will you change it?

Living with Christ as Lord, responding as His sold-out, dying-to-self disciples so we can be salt and light to a hurting and dying world, all in His Truth and Love requires us to imitate Him. One of the simplest and most powerful Scriptures of Christ is John 1:14, “And the Word (Jesus) became flesh, and dwelt among us; and we saw His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (Parentheses mine and added)

Grace, simply defined, is receiving a gift that we don’t deserve and can’t earn. That’s what we have received from God in Christ!

God’s Grace in creation, life, and most of all in Christ, is AMAZING! However, just as the Romans did when Paul explained God’s grace to them, our human nature manipulates us to think of it as not just a free gift (which it is) but a free pass to keep on living as we desire in our own sinful flesh (which it certainly is not)! That’s why James, in talking about faith, states the discipleship side of faith and grace in which our lives and actions must reflect the grace in our lives that we receive by faith…”Faith without works is dead (no faith at all).” James 2:18, 20, 26 (Parentheses mine and added)

How can we be salt and light as Christ’s disciples if all His grace means to us is “thanks for saving me but I’ll take it from here?” Paul reminds us that not only is His grace sufficient but also it will perfect my weaknesses in His strength so the only thing I can boast in is Him and His Cross! 2 Corinthians 12:9-10; Galatians 6:14

Let’s continue to look at His Grace…the free gift, our abuse, our humility and His Glory… in and through our lives.

Christ’s Love is always expressed perfectly in Truth and Grace…neither ever compromises the other. In our culture abusing grace is the problem on our path of human nature as we read in Romans 6.

On the other hand, while grace is absolutely amazing it can never nor will ever compromise God’s Truth; we are saved by grace through faith and empowered by grace to live for God (Ephesians 2:8-10; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10); however, grace was never intended to allow us to craft God in our image or condone our sin and flesh, it was solely for the purpose to recreate and craft us in the image of Christ and for His Glory (2 Corinthians 3:18)…for far too long we’ve taught (or failed to teach) the real purpose of grace and excused, allowed, even encouraged folks to claim grace while continuing to live in their flesh and sin…apart from Jesus Christ. This is certainly not the purpose of Grace and we need to teach, live and disciple according to His Truth in Grace (Romans 8:1-5; Galatians 5:13).

Grace is so much more than just forgiveness; it is the power and freedom to live in Christ (Titus 2:11-14)!

Paul David Tripp in his “New Morning Mercies” devotional states, “Not only is your salvation a gift of God, but the faith to embrace it is his gift as well. But here is what you need to understand: God not only gives you the grace to believe for your salvation, but he also works to enable you to live by faith. If you are living by faith you know that you have been visited by powerful transforming grace, because that way of living just isn’t normal for you and me.”

Don’t live in the natural or “normal” (flesh)…pride, doubt, fear, worry, anxiety, selfish desires. Live in the Spirit by the gift of Grace and Faith (Hebrews 11:1, 6) that you’ve received from God through Christ as Savior and Lord and the indwelling of His Spirit in you. He has given us everything we need to live a Godly life through Christ for His Glory (2 Peter 1:3)!

The amazing and free grace of God in salvation by faith in Christ is nothing without the evidence of that grace in sanctification (His Lordship and our discipleship walk)…James 2:14-26. The grace that saved you and restored you into a relationship with Him (your greatest need) is the very same grace that works in us to conform us into the image of Christ…Romans 8:29!

What does that look like…Galatians 5:22-24 and 2 Peter 1:3-11! The Fruit of the Spirit that we have in Christ must mature and grow in our lives! Look at the very close similarity between the fruit of The Spirit that we receive by Grace through faith in Christ and how they are to mature in our life in 2 Peter 1…by that very same grace. Peter tells us very plainly that The Spirit fruit matures in our lives as choose to “add” (build on) that fruit as virtues that we now have in The Spirit in our day-to-day life. His Grace not only makes us flawless in Christ but allows us to thrive every day in His Grace!

What ultimately does this all lead to? A heart after God’s heart (1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22)!  Humility is the natural product of Grace!

Humility and purity of heart is not only what it leads to it is what allows us to draw close to God (James 4:6, 10; 1 Peter 5:5) and to see God (Matthew 5:8)!

Do you have a desire to see and be close to God? Humility and purity are keys…and yet I can do neither except by the Grace of God in Christ! Think and pray about these things as being the fruit of walking in Truth, Grace and Love with Christ as Lord.

If you’re claiming Christ as Savior and not desiring and/or growing in these things then ask The Lord to show you what is keeping you from truly being His humble and pure-in-heart disciple. Most often brokenness precedes humility and purity of heart.

Humility and humiliation are from the same root word but humiliation is always rooted in, and a product of, our own selfish desires; Humility is rooted in The Spirit.

Every time I choose self I eventually have to account for it in humiliation. The enemy loves nothing more than for us to equate humiliation with Humility so we reject the very thing that God says we need to be close to Him and to place others above self.

Here’s the real kicker…humility is not thinking less of yourself. Actually it is thinking clearly and soberly of yourself so you can choose to place Christ and others above yourself just as Christ did (John 13:3-5; Romans 12:3-8; Philippians 2:3-5).

Humility is being confident and content in who we are in Christ so we can willingly, submissively and lovingly place Him first and then place others above self.

As long as I do not die to self, any semblance of serving and loving is done in false humility (pride) so as to gain something from it…even if it’s just the accolades of being such a wonderful “Christian.” Only when I take up my cross and go to the death of my selfish desires and pleasures rooted in my flesh, and live for Him, can I know who I am and humbly serve and love others from His reservoir of life, love and strength in real humility by grace.

And it will not matter one iota how others respond to me!

As we walk in Humility it becomes more and more real in our lives and evident to others what John the Baptist said about Christ in us…”He must increase but I must decrease.” John 3:30

Humility also allows us to hear, accept and get into the yoke with Christ (Matthew 11:28-30) and receives it as easy and the burden as light. In that yoke we learn His gentleness of spirit and humility of heart.

In Humility, knowing who I am in Christ, I can accept my greatest strengths as weaknesses that only feed my flesh and increase my pride. When in that same Humility I receive His Truth, Grace, Love and strength, then my weakness is used to accomplish all He desires for His Kingdom and Glory!

Imagine what that might look like in your personal life, your marriage, parenting and family and in Christ’s Church?

Humility in Christ is the only real strength and the only strength that matters… therefore I will boast only in His Cross and in His strength (Galatians 6:13-14)!

I want to despair for God like David did in Psalm 42 and in my despair to be completely overwhelmed with His Presence! I want to praise Him when all is well and when all seems lost…desperate for Him!

This will only be done in one of two ways, which brings us right back to Humility in His Truth and Grace. I can continue and be humiliated in my own pride, choices, failures, consequences and successes that will always bring destruction as I sow in the flesh. OR I can choose Humility according to His Word and Grace in my life and know that I must willingly and submissively choose to desperately seek after Him in ALL THINGS and know I’ll reap eternal life presently and beyond (Galatians 6:7-8).

When I choose my flesh and ultimately receive humiliation I still have a choice to make as to whether I will desperately seek Him or pridefully continue to do it my way. When I choose His Spirit in Humility, I’ve already made the choice to desperately seek after Him and can rest in the consequences and fruit in my life. There is great peace and wholeness in Humility in Christ!

My hope in humility is in direct proportion to how much I desire and despair for Him. I need You, Lord…and I know You are faithful to be there for me always.

Walking humbly in His Truth by His Grace happens in our new identity in Christ! No matter what you’ve faced or what you are still carrying with you or processing in your life, know that He has made you new in Himself.

He will guide you through the processes that you need to go through to let go of those things that are of the old man or woman in the flesh. He will also take all that you’ve experienced, the good, the bad and the ugly, and make something good of it (Romans 8:28).

Know (remember Humility is knowing who you are recreated to be in Christ) that no matter what you’ve done or faced, in Christ you are no longer guilty of any sin and therefore you need not be ashamed for He has forgiven you, set you free, empowered you, healed and redeemed you completely!

So don’t choose sin any longer and don’t choose to live in the pain, guilt of shame of the past…even as you may still deal with those decisions and consequences… because He has made you new (2 Corinthians 5:16-17)! God doesn’t see us in the flesh, so help us no longer see ourselves according to the flesh but to humbly see ourselves according to The Spirit in Christ!

We can only walk in this new life in Humility, knowing we are a new creation in Christ! Don’t let anything in the past keep you from being all you are in Him. Humble yourself before Him and He will lift you up at just the right time (James 4:10).

We are righteous in Christ because He took our sin away and made us whole and free, even as I live in the outcomes and realities of my former decisions and old life.  I am new and made righteous in Him (2 Corinthians 5:21). I will no longer let the “realities” of my old self and life dictate who I am…Christ says I am righteous and free, whole and healed, forgiven and loved…that is what I choose to live in.  What identity are you living in? What defines you?

Humility leads to God’s favor as we surrender our rights to our self over to Him. Then we can know who we are in Christ and in Humility glorify God in all we think, say and do (Colossians 3:17, 23)!

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – As long as I’m convinced, and trying to prove, that I have every right to myself, then pride will win out even when I’m “serving” God and others. Only in Christ can I know myself and love and serve in Humility to build His Kingdom and magnify Him in His Truth and Love by His grace.

Love and Lordship…Action Item(s) –

1. Read the Scriptures in this article and ask The Holy Spirit to teach you how to love according to His commands and priorities.
2. Grace empowers us to be humble. How does this look in your life and relationships?
3. Do you despair for Christ…to know Him in all things? 
4. How does humility as confidence and contentment in who you are in Christ help you to choose humility by His Grace?