Mentoring Minutes

“Joseph and Mary – Faith, Humility and Gratitude”

I ran across this quote in one of my daily readings recently, “Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.” (C.S. Lewis)  Let’s apply that to Mary and Joseph and to our own lives…

One of the most powerful texts in all of Scripture comes directly from the Advent/ CHRISTmas narrative, “Behold, the Lord’s bond-servant; may it be done to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:26-38 (emphasis v. 38) A lowly peasant virgin teenager is visited by the angel, Gabriel, to declare that she would give birth to a son without ever having known (had sexual relations with) a man. Can you imagine the stares, the disdain, the ridicule and humiliation…the scandal!

Yet in faith, Mary responds, “be it unto me according to Your Word, O Lord.” May your Advent/CHRISTmas season and every day The Lord gives you be lived accordingly as must rely over and over each day on The Lord as if nothing had yet been done!

Continuing with our focus on Mary’s faith, obedience and role in the Advent of Christ and CHRISTmas, we reflect on all God asked Mary to consider and her continued response of obedience and humble gratitude.  She literally worshiped God and gave thanks for Him putting her in this very dire and uncomfortable situation! God asks Mary to become an unwed mother complete with all the scorn, ridicule and mockery that accompanied that lifestyle, potentially even being legally killed (stoned for adultery). In no way was God condoning sex and pregnancy outside of marriage and yet in the same incredible stroke of Grace we can see His forgiveness when we have failed or fallen in our relationships and sexuality. In one incredible, supernatural act God’s Holy Spirit comes upon Mary and the God-Man, Jesus Christ, is conceived! Luke 2:26-38

What an awesome blessing and yet an overwhelming burden…ever been there? God has a plan and will see it through but He desires that we respond by faith the same way that Mary did. Upon receiving confirmation from her relative, Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, of the Baby that she carried being the Lord and the Son of God (Luke 1:39-45), what does she do?  Right in the middle of her plight and knowing she was returning to her family and people with an extended belly and no way to hide her pregnancy, she breaks out in what is known as the Magnificat, an unparalleled song of praise and glory to God (Luke 1:46-55)!

As we look at the incredible faith and humility found in Mary through her complete obedience in a very unpleasant situation, let’s not forget Joseph’s conundrum and his response.

Gentlemen, what would you do if you were told your fiancé was pregnant and had been told that she was a virgin? Likely we would have the same immediate response that Joseph had… quietly divorce her (betrothal, or engagement, was the same as marriage in every way except sexual consummation). So, Joseph was planning to do the reasonable thing that anyone would have expected and accepted…until an angel visited him and shared the Good News of the Baby that Mary was carrying and that He was of The Lord (Matthew 1:18-25)!

Now before we too quickly claim that we would have listened to an angel and done the same thing that Joseph did, let’s ask ourselves, “What was at stake?” Only his entire reputation and livelihood. How often have we received the very Word of The Lord in His Scriptures and chosen what was most comfortable, convenient and favorable for us rather than the cost of obedience? Obedience to God (Matthew 1:24) may likely cost us everything but it is the only thing that is worth it all.

In reading and contemplating the story of the Advent and Incarnation of Christ, it struck me that of all the players involved directly in this incredible narrative, Joseph, while very prominent as God’s choice to be Christ’s earthly father, says nothing at all. Look at Scripture…we simply see Joseph ponder “putting Mary away” after he finds out that she’s pregnant and knowing he’s “not the father.” We see him fall into a deep sleep and be visited by an angel that sets the record straight for him…and then without a comment we see him accept God’s message by faith that the Babe in Mary’s womb is the Son of God and His Name will be called Jesus! And he will be Jesus’ earthly father and that will not be looked upon with the favor of men.

Joseph actually had four choices that would have all been considered righteous according to the law. 1) He could have had Mary stoned for “adultery.” 2) He could have had her exiled from Israel, which would have been either a death sentence or a cruel fate as a woman of “ill repute.” 3) He could quietly divorce her and let her fend for herself in a culture that saw her condition as completely sinful…sexually immoral and pregnant outside of marriage. This last one was what a “good man” would do and all of these previous three would have been very appealing to his flesh and perfectly just before the law. Or, 4) he could do the most difficult thing and keep her as his wife and care for her and this Child as his own. His choice, in obedience to God and the angel’s message, was the last and by far most difficult option…and he likely paid a price for the rest of his life. But he knew he was in God’s will and that was enough.

We can only ponder what Joseph may have thought but we need not think about what he did because God’s Word tells us that he was obedient to the message of God from the angel. What a powerful example of a man who simply listened and obeyed. Oh, that we would listen, receive God’s Word and obey it, regardless of what others may think or say…just as Joseph did. God knew what He was doing in choosing Joseph (and Mary) to be Jesus’ earthly parents (Matthew 1:18-25).

Joseph was the earthly father of “God With Us”…Immanuel!

Mary and Joseph were basically minor characters in Israel until they were chosen and visited by angels to fulfill God’s perfect plan. It was God’s choice and their obedience to Him that projected them onto the stage of History and Eternity as much more than “bit players” (Luke 1:26-38). Their obedience allowed God to work in and through them to raise His very Son to fulfill His purpose and bring salvation to a condemned world (John 3:16-17)!

They could have chosen, legally and with little or no repercussion, to follow their feelings and act in their best interest knowing the price they would pay…BUT they chose to walk in faith rather than their feelings and the circumstances, not knowing what the future held in store…simply trusting in God!  Regardless of the cost or what others thought or said of them (fear of man) they both chose to obey, walk with and trust God (fear of God).  May we do the same.

Contact L&L to let us know what you’re thinking and how we can help.

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You can find videos, articles and podcasts at www.loveandlorship.com. 

Make it a great day and God bless in Christ!

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – We have all, in faith, been recipients of Mary and Joseph’s obedience! So by faith may we follow in their footsteps and share His love as well! What is God calling you to today in obedience to Him for His Kingdom and Glory? How are you responding to God’s work and call in your life?

Love and Lordship…Action Item(s) –

• 1) Ask The Lord to show you where He’s calling you to obey Him;
• 2) Honestly assess any area in your life that you’ve chosen yourself or fear of others over obedience to The Lord;
• 3) Ask The Lord to forgive you for any selfishness and sin and to give you the courage and humility to obey Him in all things, and;
• 4) Begin today to follow through on your obedience to Him in all things!

A Real Life story on Marriage, divorce, remarriage and adultery

In August 2009, I was speaking at an Association of Marriage and Family Ministries conference in Phoenix, AZ.  After my presentation I was late for lunch and a black gentleman with an accent approached my table as I was eating alone.  I recognized him from being in my presentation. 

He asked if he could join me for lunch.  I said, “Absolutely,” and thanked him for joining in my session.  He introduced himself as Pastor Morvan Zang from Cameroon, West Africa, and shared that he was the vice president of the Western African Association of Churches.  He was very encouraging and after some small talk and learning a bit more about each other he invited me to come and share the Love and Lordship message (IP315 Ministries at that time) at an International Marriage and Family Conference in Cameroon. 

I was taken back, both excited and humbled to be asked, and we talked a little while.  I told him I was certainly open to The Spirit’s leading and would make it a matter of prayer.

Over the next few months I prayed as The Lord laid it on my heart and then we reconnected via email and social media in February 2010.  After several months of communicating on the digital platforms we scheduled a phone call in May (7 time zones apart).  During this phone call I asked him one question that The Holy Spirit had laid on my heart.  I asked him to tell me about their culture. 

He proceeded to tell me that Cameroon was a “developed” country, although not like US, government-run schools (which I replied was very much like the US) and there was a military presence at financial and other commerce related institutions. 

I further asked about the state of the churches and families.  His response was the word The Holy Spirit used to confirm it for me.  He said, “Our churches are doing okay but not great and our marriages and families are struggling more and more.  The more western culture that we get the more our marriages and families are falling apart.” 

I asked, “When you speak of western culture are you including the western culture church?” 

He replied, “Yes, I am.” 

What a sad statement that reflected on our families, churches and culture and almost word for word from an underground pastor that I had talked with from China in 1991! 

We made all our plans for travel and childcare, got our shots and passports, and took off for Cameroon for the conference in November 2010.  We had a wonderful week and over 1100 people attended the conference. 

We closed out on a Thursday night and I taught on the information that I shared in the previous post on marriage, divorce, remarriage, and adultery.

We went sightseeing on Friday, as we were to end the week with a Pastor’s conference on Saturday.  Approximately 50 pastors and spouses showed up on Saturday and I spoke about taking the message to a lost and hurting world based on the Love and Lordship principles presented in this ministry and our book, The Authority of Love.

As we wrapped up the pastor’s conference and the week, the gentleman who had been our chauffeur and my interpreter the entire week approached me.  I could see he was visibly moved as he took my hand and began to speak with tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat.

He said, “I want to thank you for coming to Cameroon and speaking God’s Truth to us.  My wife and I were set free on Thursday night after God’s message through you.  We’ve never had an American pastor speak it so plainly, graciously and boldly.  We’ve never had an American pastor even share this truth.” 

Needless to say, I was both encouraged and disheartened.  Encouraged personally, but disheartened by the reality that tough issues are often ignored or soft-pedaled in our churches in America today, thus reinforcing Pastor Zang’s comments earlier regarding the impact of western culture, including our churches, on their families and churches. 

He went on to share that after the teaching he went home and told his wife that he needed to pray with her and ask her forgiveness.  She asked him why and he said, “I now know that I’ve committed adultery.”  She gasped and he reassured her it was because his first wife had left him and he had now married her, his second wife.

They knelt and prayed for over an hour. When they stood up with tears in their eyes they looked at each other and said simultaneously, “I feel like a weight has just been lifted from our shoulders and we can now truly become one and do all that God has called us to do.”

He thanked me again and left as I stood there, tears now filling my eyes, I had goose bumps all over me. 

Everyone else had left except for Pastor Zan who had invited us and coordinated the entire conference.  He approached me and asked if the interpreter had shared his story with me.  I confirmed that he had and told him how awesome it was to see God show up in that way and His uncompromised Truth set them free.

The pastor asked, “Do you know who he is?”  I answered, in a matter of fact tone, “He’s the chauffeur and interpreter.” 

He said, “He is the president of the entire Western African Association of Churches.  Did you see…?”

Before he could finish I said, “I know what you’re going to say.  All week long all the other pastors had kept him literally at arm’s length with short, curt greetings and stiff-armed handshakes.  Everyone else was greeted with deep heartfelt hugs.  Today every single pastor and their wife gave him a hearty and long hug.”

Pastor Zang said that since his divorce and remarriage, the founding church in the US made it clear that he would remain as president but everyone, including himself, has struggled with what you taught on Thursday night. 

“We’ve had great difficulty coming together as a church in our country but today that all changed.” 

I replied, as I had to the interpreter (president) when he shared that he and his wife knew they had been set free on Thursday night, “That’s what happens when God’s Truth is taught and received.  People, couples, and even churches are set free.” 

I pray that you will receive all of the teachings from God’s Word in this ministry and in our book and test them to see if they are of Him and therefore true.  If you find them to be, I pray that you would follow them with all your heart in every relationship and especially in your marriage and family and in His Church.

Only when the sanctity of Marriage and Family under the Lordship of Christ and according to the Truth of Scripture has been restored will we see true revival and servant-leadership in the Church and then Godly influence and impact in the culture rather than the other way around…the culture influencing our churches. 

Contact L&L to let us know what you’re thinking and how we can help.

You can find videos, articles and podcasts at www.loveandlorship.com. 

Make it a great day and God bless in Christ!

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – God’s Word makes it very obvious that marriage is a lifetime commitment and that any breaking of that comes against His design, will and plan.  However, He also has made a way, as with any sin, for forgiveness and redemption in Christ! 

Love and Lordship…Action Item(s) – 1) Ask The Lord to give you the wisdom to see and value marriage as He designed it; 2) Ask The Lord to help you not fall for the world’s destructive ideas regarding relationships, sex, marriage and family; 3) Ask The Lord to forgive you for any sin with regard to these areas in your life and; 4) Ask Him to help you build Godly, Biblical relationships, practice sexual purity in order to work toward a healthy, fulfilling marriage and family.

We’ve spent the last few weeks on posts talking about key and foundational principles and issues from God’s Word when it comes to love, relationships, sexuality and marriage. The focus for these included “Serving is Love is Authority,” “Unconditional Love – Forgiveness and Trust” and others (check out www.loveandlordship.com for the past several articles, podcasts and videos)!

This week we’re jumping into deeper waters and some, well let’s just say, somewhat controversial texts of Scripture when it comes to Marriage, Adultery, Divorce and Remarriage. Remember, God’s Word also tells us, “Marriage is to be honored by all. For God will judge the sexually immoral (porneia), adulterers and fornicators (promiscuous).”  (Hebrews 13:4)  So let’s dive right in to find out what God’s Word and Covenant Order tell us about sexuality, marriage, adultery, divorce and remarriage…all in Truth and Grace!  (Parentheses in text mine and added)

God’s Word on Marriage, Adultery, Divorce and Remarriage

I want to wrap up these posts on marriage with what God has to say about marriage, adultery, divorce, and remarriage.  This is by no means exhaustive and there is certainly room for interpretation when it comes to these issues. 

As I’ve prayed and studied, here is where The Lord has led me with regard to these controversial issues that must be wrestled with in order to give Biblical guidance in today’s culture.   I do so here in succinct points with related Scripture and will share a story on next week’s LIVE that reinforces The Spirit’s leading and confirmation:

1. God ordained Marriage to reflect His Image and to be in lifetime covenant – Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5-6
2. Marriage – symbol of God and Israel and Christ and His Bride, the Church – Jeremiah 31:31-32; Ephesians 5:25-27
3. God hates divorce and the breaking of the covenant – Malachi 2:16
4. There are many reasons Moses allowed for divorce, all found in the “hardness of our hearts,” and marriage requires serious forethought and consideration before entering into it – Matthew 19:7-10.
5. There is NO Scriptural basis for remarriage after divorce (with two concerns subject to Scriptural interpretation)

• Marital unfaithfulness/sexual infidelity – Matthew 19:9;
• Unbelieving spouse leaves the marriage – 1 Corinthians 7:10-16

6. One allowance for Remarriage (Death of spouse – 1 Corinthians 7:39) as all other remarriage, even in two reasons directly above, still ends in adultery for both spouses upon remarriage – Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18

NOTE:  With regard to all of this note that when the Jewish leaders were trying to trick Christ regarding marriage and divorce, He did not refer back to the Law but what superseded the law and that was their purpose and design from the beginning in Creation!  Powerful as Christ obviously knew that this was the standard and honor ascribed to marriage by God Himself and only sinful hard hearts brought about divorce allowances!  With that said, remember…

7. Divorce and remarriage – not the unpardonable sin (Blasphemy or rejection of Holy Spirit received only through Christ) – Matthew 12:31

These are not easy issues to deal with as they evoke highly emotional responses coming from deep relationships of trust and intimacy that are called into question at best and destroyed at worst.  However, as I’ve stated before, while our emotions are God’s gift to help us discern and decide we should never be led strictly by our feelings.  Also, I would remind You that regardless of the circumstances that may lead to these kinds of struggles and trials, nothing changes God’s Truth…we can always trust Him to work for the best outcomes as we walk by faith according to His Word and will. 

Contact L&L to let us know what you’re thinking and how we can help.

Give online as The Lord leads – https://give.cornerstone.cc/loveandlordship.

You can find videos, articles and podcasts at www.loveandlorship.com. 

Make it a great day and God bless in Christ!

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – When it comes to pain and struggles in relationships, and in particular in marriage, are you willing to allow your emotions to guide you or walk in faith, trusting in God’s Truth?

Love and Lordship…Action Item(s) – 1) If you are married, moving towards marriage or moving toward divorce (and potentially remarriage), consider the seriousness of God’s Covenant Order and how you are viewing marriage…like the world or according to His Word; 2) Ask The Lord to help and give you insights to value the honor that He has for marriage and how you can respond accordingly to all things related… relationships, dating, sex, porneia, engagement, covenant marriage and the impact these have on marriage itself and how you are approaching it; 3) Ask The Holy Spirit to help you reconsider any of the above as He brings them to your mind so you will think and act in line with God’s Word and will, and; 4) Trust The Lord, His Word and His Spirit to give you wisdom, humility, strength and courage to see and act in such a way that you honor marriage as He designed and desired for you to do.