Mentoring Minutes

“Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength;
they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.”  Isaiah 40:31…

I was praying recently and The Lord said to me, “Oh my goodness, Greg, I didn’t see this coronavirus pandemic coming.  I don’t know what to do.”  Obviously I’m being very facetious, as God is never caught off guard.  But that’s how many folk are acting.  I can understand those who don’t believe in Christ.  But we as Christ followers must think and act in faith so those who don’t believe will see the difference and desire to know The Source of our faith, hope, strength and love…Christ!

One more thing…and it’s related.  I have a routine of working out and walking every morning along with my time in The Word and prayer…none of that’s changed except that it’s maybe gotten better!  However, I have noticed and am very excited about the following…as I walk with my wife in the evenings (as we’ve done often over the years), in the past there have been maybe 4 or 5 people out walking.  Every nice day since the pandemic and isolation began we’ve seen literally dozens and on some days nearly a hundred people out walking and usually as couples and families!  Need I say more?

I hope you’ll see the connection as I continue by mentioning 5 things we can do to flourish during tough times from a great article on Public Discourse about the Human Flourishing Project from Harvard University:

1. Helping Others;
2. Strengthening Relationships;
3. Finding Happiness;
4. Facing Suffering and Hardships – which we’re doing now and as they said in Fried Green Tomatoes, “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.”;
5. Reflecting on Life.

It’s the second one that we’re going to reflect on today…Strengthening Relationships.  As we shared last week, God’s making it really clear which relationships He wants us to focus on with the TIME He’s giving us and the “space” that we can do it in…our homes and families!

TIME – you can have all the time in the world, which it feels like we have right now but don’t know what to do with it because all our focus, at least priority focus, has been on other things.  But I believe The Lord is giving us this TIME for a specific reason…He is aware of everything that is going on and doesn’t want us to waste any of it.  He is calling us to be intentional with our TIME with Him, in our marriage, with our spouse, children and families… Intentional acts and intentional investments in the lives of others is LOVE.

I believe He is calling us to be intentional with what He has told us is the most important of relationships…marriage and family!  If we will follow through then I know that He will strengthen our homes as we continue to prioritize our relationships according to His Word.  This will ultimately strengthen His Church Family and advance His Kingdom, as He has always desired, through loving relationships…the currency of His Kingdom! 

This is the incredible gift that He is putting right in front of us with this pandemic!  Let’s be faithful to build our marriages and families so we can love and lead in His Church and then in this culture for His Kingdom and Glory!

How do we do this?  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 from last week’s L&L LIVE reminds us of what it looks like and what we are to be growing in during this time and beyond for our marriages, family and for His Church and Kingdom.

OK, how do we practically and intentionally (remember that’s LOVE) make this happen?  I’m going to share with you seven ways to be intentional (loving as you do so according to 1 Corinthians 13 traits) in building your relationships that may have been ignored or given lesser priority status when work and money and other things of the world crowded them out.

Keep or Develop Good Routine in Your Life – this is crucial to discipline and ultimately to discipleship in our lives and relationships which means it is of great importance to building and strengthening your marriage, family and His Church!  He’s giving you the TIME to make it happen so find a way in His strength to make it happen…a few minutes each day, one day at a time and don’t miss a day!  It’s that important!

If you have some or all of these routines in place then use this TIME to enjoy and grow in them even more.  If not, God’s giving you the TIME to make it happen and build what is most important…loving relationships!

1) Devotions – Set aside some time each day (if you have not been doing so, start small – 5-10 minutes – even though you may have much more time you need to not overwhelm yourself and give up…disciplines require manageability so you can keep the commitment).  I would recommend first thing in the morning but that doesn’t always work for everyone…just be diligent and committed to making it happen every day – 2 Timothy 2:15 states, “Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman who does not need to be ashamed, but rightly handles the word of truth.”

2) Prayer – not only follow up your devotional time with Prayer but begin to pray about all things with and to God…Philippians 4:6 – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Prayer in everything with gratitude!)  1 Thessalonians 5:17 – “Pray without ceasing.”  This is not just about getting on your knees at bedtime or praying before meals (good things)…it is about developing an ongoing relationship with your Creator, Savior and Lord God and getting to know Him!  Oswald Chambers says, “Prayer does not fit us for the greater work, prayer is the greater work.”  And again, “Prayer is the way the life of God is nourished. Our ordinary views of prayer are not found in the New Testament. We look on prayer as a means of getting things for ourselves; the Bible idea of prayer is that we may get to know God Himself.”

3) Reflection – an extension of Bible Study/Devotion and Prayer.  Many know the first part of Psalm 46:10, “Be still (or cease striving) and know that I am God…(so many of us are anxiously “striving” because that’s what we always have done).  God is giving us this TIME and great opportunity to build our relationship with Him!  And that is to His glory as the last part of Ps. 46:10 states, “I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  God’s at work in and through us even and especially in this crisis if we will trust in Him and follow His Word!

Now we transition to using this TIME to LOVE those closest to us…

4) Conversation – Spend some quality and quantity TIME daily with your spouse and children in meaningful and heartfelt conversation.  If you’ve forgotten or not done this in a long time…this it your gift from God to rekindle the lines of communication and grow your relationship.  Don’t be flippant or just engage in small talk…challenge yourself to use this TIME (LOVE) wisely and graciously. “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.”  Colossians 4:6; 1 Peter 3:1-7

5) Meals together – no specific Scripture here but a great principle of seeing LOVE as intentionally spending time together.  Research continually backs this up! I can tell you that for our family and children some of the deepest discussions, toughest tears and greatest times of laughter were during devotional times together that we did every evening and at meal times!

6) Games – extending the togetherness theme to enjoying your favorite games together and learning new ones!  Again, some great conversation and laughter during these times!

7) Good movies – many streaming services are offering free series and movies during this time.  Be wise in your choices to include both wholesome movies that reinforce Biblical values and those that may challenge to spark conversation and learning!  Don’t be afraid just because there may be things included that you don’t agree with.  Great opportunities to discuss and strengthen everyone’s faith!  Avoid all forms of porn and gratuitous violence, etc.!

8) Others – be creative!  Here’s an article to help get you started… https://familymatters.net/blog/2020/03/20/17-stay-at-home-date-ideas-for-when-you-cant-go-out/

I hope and pray this encourages you to use the one thing that God is giving you…TIME which is LOVE…in the one area that’s most important – your marriage, spouse and family!

Make it a great day and God bless in Christ!

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – To those in our most intimate relationships…God, spouse and children/families…Love is spelled T-I-M-E.  What does your use of the time you’ve been given in this crisis say to those closest to you?

Love and Lordship…Action Item – 1) Set aside time each day for God – Bible reading/study, prayer, reflection; 2) Spend time in meaningful conversation every day with your spouse and children; 3) Plan and eat at least one meal together each day; 4) Play at least one game or watch one movie/series daily with your family (don’t make it movie night every night!)

In light of the Covid-19 pandemic, we are given as Christ followers and excellent opportunity to responding to crisis, fear and worry in faith, hope and love…just as our Lord did and as His Word encourages and even commands us to do!

We need not fear what man (or virus) can do to us as we are certain of our lives in Christ for eternity!  That’s awesome, you say, when I’m gone from this life and move into the next.  What about here and now?  Choosing to walk in fear of God helps us make the wise and loving decisions in line with His Word of Truth in the midst of the chaos.  The Lord is for me; I will not fear; What can man do to me?  Psalm 118:6

You can click here for the Love and Lordship (L&L) LIVE version of this article as we lay the Biblical foundations for freedom and peace that comes as we walk by faith in the fear of The Lord.  I will be following up with brief LIVE clips and short articles on things we can do to strengthen our faith and walk in The Lord, grow closer in our marriages and families and ultimately see how The Lord uses this time of crisis to build up His Church and Kingdom!

Check out the L&L Facebook page and website (www.loveandlordship.com) for more over the days and weeks ahead on how we can take God at His Word and choose faith, hope and love over panic, fear and worry, regardless of what we see around us.  As we’ve all heard, Love is spelled T-I-M-E!  God is giving us a great gift in the midst of crisis – TIME!  How will you respond with Him, your spouse, family?

I know that many worry over their finances and needs being met.  I’ve been living with this for years in ministry, as we are not sure if we will have enough from month to month in ministry and to provide for my family?  God has always been faithful and come through!  It may not always be as I wanted or asked for but it’s always been perfect and has taught me and grown my faith and hope in Him and my love for Him.  That is what allows me to share with those He puts in my path and mine in theirs.  Today that’s you and those you share this with.

Let’s take a look at a few Scriptures that remind us what The Author, the One in Authority says…the choice is whether we will react to the circumstances we see and hear in the world and according to our flesh and feelings or will we hang on and respond in line with His Truth?

Fear or Faith – fear causes us to wrongly react to our experience apart from His Truth.  Faith is acting on His Truth even when we can’t see…“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  (Hebrews 11:1)  Fear comes in trying to please self and others.  Faith makes it possible to please God and is well worth it. “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. (which we need a lot of right now) – Proverbs 9:10.  Let me simply say this…The more you fear The Lord the less you fear any and everything else.  The more you fear all else the less you fear Him…and wisdom goes right out the window!  Fearing Him aligns us with His Truth for every situation and increases our faith as He is Faithful.  Deuteronomy 31:8, “He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Isaiah 43:1 “Don’t fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.”

Psalm 34:4 “I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”

Fear paralyzes you and keeps you in its hold.  Faith empowers and sets you free but you must act on The Truth you can’t see rather than what your feelings and experience around you is telling you!

Worry or Hope – worry is trying to control things that you can’t and hope is trusting in The One Who is in control and in what He says.

Matthew 6… ²⁵“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?… ²⁷And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?… ³¹Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’… ³³But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you… ³⁴“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Philippians 4… ⁴“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. ⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  ⁸Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”…¹¹“Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. ¹² I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. ¹³ I can do all things through Him who strengthens me… ¹⁹ And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

2 Corinthians 1… ³“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

What do you worry about or try to control that only weighs you down with stress and anxiety?  Begin to think differently by letting go of any anxious thoughts and dwell on His Truth and apply it to your life and circumstances…He’s got you!

Panic or Peace in Love – panic comes from fear and worry (see above).  Peace comes from God’s perfect love and focusing on His Word and love rather than focusing on what we can do little or nothing about.  See Philippians 4 above.

Psalm 115:11 “You who fear him, trust in the LORD— he is their help and shield.”

Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Psalm 91 – check out this entire Psalm and know that The Lord is the Security of all who trust in Him!

Psalm 23 – again this entire Psalm is the most popular and well known for a reason and here’s the core of the message which so applicable in our circumstances today… “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (v.4)

2 Tim 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

2 Cor 4:16-18 “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, ¹⁸ while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

God is always at work…and so is the enemy.

In every crisis or trial we can trust that The Lord is with us and will use it to grow, teach, correct as well as encourage and bless all who will heed what He is doing according to His Word (Romans 8:28).  We must also be alert that the enemy is always at work and his plan is to kill, steal and destroy (1 Peter 5:8; John 10:10b).  So what does God’s Word tell us to do?  “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6-7 – note that this comes right before the command to us and warning against the enemy in v. 8 above?)

I believe today’s Church is being called to humility and repentance.  Instead of just speaking in order to fill up our buildings we need to have the courage to speak the whole truth in Love, even if folks choose to walk away.  We need to stand in His Truth against any and all efforts against, and perversions of, His Truth, such as all forms of sexual immorality in our culture today!  Will we focus on the eternal as we live in the temporal, acting in Faith…in Truth, love and wisdom?

In the Roman Empire and early church during the second and third centuries there were two horrific and fatal plagues.  One pagan Emperor wondered why Christians would care for even non-Christian sick people?  Church historian Pontianus even recounted how Christians, following the Golden Rule (Matthew 12:7) ensured that “good was done to all men, not merely to the household of faith.”

This is a great example from our forefathers in Christ’s Church as to how we can respond in faith, hope, courage and love.

We must do this so we can show the world that we trust in Him no matter what we face.  By faith let’s choose hope and love over fear. Let’s act in wisdom to do the smart thing and humbly serve others as given the opportunity to shine His light so they can know Him!

Make it a great day and God bless in Christ!

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – When we fear man and culture we respond in anxiety, panic and fear.  When we fear God we respond in faith, hope, peace and love.

Love and Lordship…Action Item – During your time in The Word and prayer, as well as in any anxious moments, ask The Lord to show you how to respond according to His Truth in peace and love.  Ask Him to show you how to stop dwelling on those things you can’t control.  Journal your thoughts and His responses to see His faithfulness and your growth.

True Authority in The Home

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  – Ephesians 5:23

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. – Ephesians 5:22

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  – Ephesians 5: 21

The place where the True Authority from Christ begins is in the most intimate of relationships—marriage, family, and the home.  No wonder the enemy relentlessly attacks the home above all else.  He must know that if he can destroy marriage, family, and the home, then he can cripple and/or destroy everything else and that is his only goal.  Husbands, before we ever claim any authority in our marriage and with our wives, and wives before we try to feign any submission toward our husbands, we should note Christ’s example (John 13:1-17) and heed the words in the last verse above: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” 

True Authority in Christ’s Church

Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an elder desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.  – 1 Timothy 3:1–7

Other than ‘headship’ in the Home, this explanation of authority in Christ’s Church is the only other clearly defined outline for relational leadership in Scripture.  In describing the qualities of a True Leader (elder/overseer) in His Church, it is very evident that it hinges on five key elements:

1) Godly character and integrity;

2) Able to teach and shepherd others;

3) Servant-leader (manager) in the marriage and family (absence of this clearly negates leadership in His Church);

4) Humble maturity in the faith and;

5) Have a good reputation in the community. 

God is showing us True Authority and the priority of relationships from which it is to be learned, modeled, and lived out. In the relationships of marriage and family, character is developed, wisdom is honed, the humility that comes from wisdom (James 3: 13) is derived, and evidently where every other area of leadership is to come from, including and especially in His Church.  When we miss it in our homes, then we will struggle to find it in Christ’s Church or anywhere else according to The Author.

True Authority in The World

Jabez was more honorable than his brothers…  Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.  – 1 Chronicles 4: 9a, 10

Known as the “Prayer of Jabez” this granted request carries a great deal of insight, not the least of which is the simple fact that Jabez’s honor (character) was instrumental to God’s granting the “enlargement of his territory,” literally “greater influence.”  Character and servant-leadership (True Authority) go hand in hand in Scripture and yet there is a conspicuous absence of defining any ‘leaders’ in Scripture except for in the Home and Church.  God wanted us to learn how to truly lead (serve) in the settings and relationships where the most was at stake. 

John Adams, Founding Father and the Second U.S. President stated, “Public virtue cannot exist in a nation without private, and public virtue is the only foundation of republics.”  For far too long we have sought our leaders in our state and nation and even churches (public virtue) from those who’ve simply had success in the corporate, financial, or other related realms.  Often this was at the sacrifice of the personal life, the home, marriage, and family (private virtue), the very place where real relational servant-leadership is to begin and be learned.  Maybe we should heed God’s Word and seek our Leaders from our marriages, families, homes, and from Christ’s Church!

The Rest of The Story (refer back to “Authority and Love – A Wake Up Call…”)

I asked Dennis how loving and leading the way he’d always heard and seen it had worked for him?  I asked him how well it was working now? 

This tough, hands-on, blue-collar guy looked up at me with tears in his eyes and said, “It never has and it’s not now.”  After a long pause, he said, “I really love my wife and want this marriage to work and I don’t think it’s going to.”

“Then let’s try something different,” I said.

From that moment, we started looking first at the connection between True Authority and Real Love. 

I saw Dennis and his wife some time later and both had smiles on their faces and said things were going much better.  As they walked past me, he smiled and nodded as if to say, “God’s way is much better than mine.”

God’s Word boldly establishes that He (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) is The Author and, therefore, the One True Authority!  His Word (Living in Christ and written in The Bible) tells us plainly that if we have seen (know) Jesus, then we have seen (know) The Father – John 14:8-10. 

We’ve laid the foundation of True Authority/Lordship and relational servant-leadership.  Now we’re ready to proceed according to His Truth as The Author applying His Lordship in every part of our lives:  in discipleship, relationships, marriage, family, His Church, and how we can impact our world for His Kingdom.

We’ll look next at what it means for Christ to be Lord.  We’ll dig deeper to see what real or true authority looks like and how we are to honor Him as we apply His Authority in our life and relationships.

In our flesh and in our culture, just as with the apostles, we desire and are told that authority is about being in control.  It’s about demanding the most influence and keeping everything and everyone “under your thumb.” 

However, in God’s Kingdom, True Authority is not about control, it’s about serving.  It’s not about demanding, it’s about giving.  It’s not about being first, it’s about stepping to the back of the line and trusting The Lord.  Why? Because real authority at its heart is not about persuading others to your point of view. It’s about inviting them to Him and them inviting you to share more of Him and His Love and Lordship!

Why is Christ’s the only True Authority and why is His Lordship so important?  Because as Oswald Chambers tells us using the example of Paul of Tarsus life, “The mainspring of Paul’s service is not love for men, but love for Jesus Christ.  If we are devoted to the cause of humanity, we shall soon be crushed and broken-hearted for we shall often meet with more ingratitude from men than we would from a dog; but if our motive is love to God, no ingratitude can hinder us from serving our fellow man.”  Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

We can only do this in Christ’s Love and only when He is our Lord, our True Authority.

Love and Lordship…Food for Thought – There is a clear connection in Scripture between Christ’s teaching and modeling of authority and how we are to apply that in our marriage and family before we are prepared to do so in His Church

Love and Lordship…Action Item – Evaluate your application of authority in your marriage and home.  Are you leading as Christ taught and modeled?  If so, how can you continue to improve?  If not, what do you need to do?  Are you currently in a position (or desire to be) of leadership in your church?  Have/are you qualified according to how you’ve servant lead your family?